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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table shows about underground railway system

The table provided illustrates information regarding underground subway systems in six major cities
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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date
Correct article usage
the date
show examples
 opened,
kilometres
Use synonyms
 of lines and the number of
passengers
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 carried per year in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
, older subways in three countries, namely London, Paris, and Tokyo, have a significant number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 per year. Meanwhile, the newer three, namely Washington DC, Kyoto, and Los Angeles, underground railways show fewer
kilometres
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, fewer
passengers
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 compared to the older subways in the three other countries. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that the underground railway in Tokyo has the highest volume of
passengers
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, which is 1928 million; it has the third longest line. The underground railway in Los Angeles was built in 2001 and has the second shortest
kilometres
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 of route.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the underground line in London was established in 1863, and it has the longest
kilometres
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 of route: 394
kilometres
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Kyoto illustrates the least crowded railway system, which carries 45 million per year; it has the shortest
kilometres
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 of line as well: 11
kilometres
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres, passengers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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