Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your opinion?
Opinions vary on whether
families
or Use synonyms
friends
have a greater impact on young Use synonyms
adults
. In my view, Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
friends
significantly influence young people, Use synonyms
families
have a larger impact for several reasons.
Use synonyms
First,
Linking Words
families
shape children's core values and long-term decision-making. Parents play a crucial role in teaching important qualities like respect, responsibility, and empathy, which stem from their experiences. These lessons are vital for children's future careers and relationships. Use synonyms
For instance
, children who learn the value of money from their parents' hardships tend to manage their finances more effectively later on. Linking Words
Second,
Linking Words
families
set a model for relationships between young Use synonyms
adults
and their Use synonyms
friends
. The dynamics within a family, Use synonyms
such
as communication and conflict resolution, serve as lessons from which young Linking Words
adults
can learn to interact positively with their peers and partners.
Use synonyms
Third,
Linking Words
families
provide essential emotional and financial support. Unlike Use synonyms
friends
, who may come and go, Use synonyms
families
are always there to offer support during difficult times. They play a key role in helping young Use synonyms
adults
navigate emotional struggles, academic pressures, and financial issues. Use synonyms
For example
, siblings can be a source of comfort and advice on how to resolve conflicts among Linking Words
friends
. Use synonyms
Lastly
, Linking Words
families
Use synonyms
instill
beliefs, Change the spelling
instil
such
as religious values, which shape young Linking Words
adults
' attitudes and how they respond to ups and downs in their lives. Use synonyms
For instance
, those who believe in God are likely to be more optimistic, Linking Words
while
those who are atheists may adopt a more practical approach when facing the same adversity.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
Linking Words
friends
frequently accompany young Use synonyms
adults
, I believe Use synonyms
families
have a more significant influence on their lives. (264 words)Use synonyms
Submitted by ngocthuykatie on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To further enhance the essay, consider adding more diverse examples that represent different cultural or socio-economic backgrounds. This will showcase a broader understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. While the current structure is strong, using more transitional phrases will improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the argument.
task achievement
The main points are consistently supported with relevant examples, adding depth to the argument.
task achievement
The essay maintains focus on the topic and addresses the task comprehensively, ensuring relevance throughout.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.