IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Parents are putting a lot pressure on their children to succeed. Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
parents
Use synonyms
 are giving a lot of attention to their children in term/ terms of success. i believe that it leads to negative development, as they could become not open minded and they may be shy. On the one hand, a lot of burden is fastest way to reach their goals, as they will be under control of their
parents
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.
Moreover
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, having burden on child leads to have an exact purpose in their life compared to their classmates or peers,
for example
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:
parents
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 know where they go and at what time what they do.
For example
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: there are common activities after class among their peers
such
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 as playing video games or computer games, keeping in
this
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 mind if matures finish their class their friends can go these kind of places and have a fun, in
this
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 moment
parents
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 guide or teach their children not to go these kind of places, as the result they will get higher grades and reach success.
On the other hand
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, too much force by
parents
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 can have negative consequences to their children:
such
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 as becoming less confident or not having any exact ideas.
For example
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: everyday checking their classes , some might beat their child for minor mistakes, less confident, and
also
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 if mature has to do some type of action they ask from their
parents
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, so they do not have their own view.
To conclude
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,   i am strongly believe that
parents
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 should not put too much pressure for their child, but they should understand the balance between them and constantly check beforehand.

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tip
State your view clearly in the first sentence.
structure
Make each paragraph have one main idea and link it to the next.
correction
Use simple words and fix big grammar mistakes like capital I and run on sentences.
content
Give more exact examples and show how they back your point.
content
Check the task and be sure you answer both sides, then restate your view at the end.
structure
You try to give a view on the topic and say if it is good or bad.
content
You use two sides to show the issue.
content
You add examples from daily life (children and games).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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