Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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A section of the community suggests that the authorities should spend public funds on development purposes that serve society,
whereas
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others think that
this
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money should be invested in entertainment sources. In my opinion, investing in music or cinema will bring a significant change in the economic and cultural development of a nation. To commence, a busy lifestyle and heavy workload in today's life have increased the stress levels
,
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;
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therefore
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, people often look for something that will bring joy in their daily lives. An increase in the budget of the film or music industry
,
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apply
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not only helps the public to relax
,
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apply
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but
also
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helps a country to grow its economy.
For instance
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, Spanish movies are contributing almost 10 percent in GDP of Spain, as the authorities help the film producers to promote their artwork on popular OTT platforms or big cinema halls.
As a result
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, these movies are collecting big revenue , which
therefore
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helps in the welfare of the public.
Moreover
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, a big advantage of promoting artwork globally is that it will help a country to visualise
the
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its
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tourism attractions and show the richness of its culture. By doing
this
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, more and more people from foreign nations will be attracted to these places. As an example, the Taj Mahal in India is visited by approximately two million travellers every year , which helps the nation with its cultural growth and to earn money through tourism , which they can use to serve the public.
To conclude
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,
although
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it is important for a government to invest in public interests, making high budgets to create and promote art culture ,
such
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as music and big films ,plays a key role in the development of economic and cultural growth of a country.

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task response
Give a more direct answer to the question. Say clearly if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this same view all through the essay.
task response
Write more about public services too. The question asks you to compare arts with public services, but your essay mostly talks about art.
task response
Use examples that fit your main point more closely. The Taj Mahal example is more about travel than about music or theatre.
coherence cohesion
Make your main ideas very clear at the start of each body paragraph. This helps the reader follow your plan.
coherence cohesion
Link some ideas in a smoother way. A few sentences are long and feel heavy, so split them or use simple link words like 'also', 'so', and 'because'.
coherence cohesion
Keep one clear focus in each paragraph. Some parts move from art to money to public help too fast.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This gives your essay a good basic shape.
task response
Your main idea is easy to see: you think money for art can help the country.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, which is good for essay writing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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