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Band 7

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #films #phones #tablets #cinema
While
 some
people
 like to watch
movies
 on their phones or tablets, others still prefer the traditional way to see
movies
 in
theatres
. I believe watching
movies
 on phones gives almost the same experience as
cinemas
.
People
 find it convenient to watch
movies
 on their electronic devices.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they don't have to take care of time and place in order for them to watch a
movie
.
Moreover
, there is an abundant collection of
movies
 readily available for customers in comparison to a cinema.
For instance
, Netflix, an OTT platform, provide recommendations of various
movies
according to
 the liking of their customers in great video
quality
.
cinemas
 are a preferable way of watching the latest
movies
 for a few
people
. It may be
due to
 the large screen size and great sound system present inside
movie
theatres
.
Furthermore
, with the latest technological advancements, a few
movies
 are launched with 3d effects that enhance the
overall
 experience of watching a
movie
 in a theatre. If the video
quality
 had not been so great than tablets in the initial stage of a
movie
 launch,
people
 might not have chosen to go to the
theatres
 in the first place. In conclusion, in my point of view,
while
cinemas
 are a great place to watch
movies
, I will still inclined towards tablets over
theatres
 because online platforms provide almost the same
quality
 of video and audio as
cinemas
 after the
movie
 is launched in their applications.
Finally
, with the launch of an Apple device,
people
 can watch
movies
 in 3d
quality
 inside their homes on
iPad
Correct article usage
an iPad
show examples
.
Submitted by anmols23oct on

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Argument Clarity
Ensure a clear and distinct argument for each view discussed. Your essay somewhat merges the advantages of both views, which can be more distinctly separated for clarity.
Conclusion Development
Consider expanding your conclusion to clearly state your viewpoint, providing a brief summary of your reasons for this choice, to reinforce your overall argument.
Flow and Transition
To enhance coherence, use transitional phrases more effectively to link ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more naturally.
Specific Examples
Be cautious with general statements. Provide specific examples to support your arguments whenever possible, such as citing a particular movie experience that demonstrates the advantages of cinema or mobile/tablet viewing.
Point Development
You effectively outline the convenience and accessibility of watching movies on personal devices, which is a key argument in favor of this view.
Point Development
You successfully contrast the unique benefits of cinema viewing, such as large screen size and special effects, showing a good understanding of both perspectives.
Structure
Introduction and conclusion are both present, providing a clear framework for your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Mobile Viewing
  • Cost-efficient
  • Time-efficient
  • Personalized experience
  • Immersive
  • Cinematic experience
  • Surround sound
  • Collective experience
  • Technical superiority
  • Sensory experience
  • Social hubs
  • Cultural events
  • Distractions
  • Preservation
  • Filmmaking art
  • Cinematographic nuances
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