IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that success in life comes from taking risks or chances. Others believe that success results from careful planning. In your opinion, what does success come from? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

People have different views about whether
success
Use synonyms
 results from taking
risks
Use synonyms
 and chances or careful planning.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the specific reasons why both opinions have certain functions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to explore whether a combination of the two is a more effective approach. On the one hand, for those individuals who
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 have a wealthy family and a good educational background, they attempt to seize significant opportunities at the right moment.
For instance
Linking Words
, the famous entrepreneur, Mr Ma, who established the Alibaba group association, seized the opportunity to venture into the team and invest in the first online shopping platform in China, just as the Internet was opening its doors to the Chinese market.
Although
Linking Words
 there are lots of
risks
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of investment, it is undeniable that confronting the challenges brings various benefits and recognition from the
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
. Until now, Alibaba is not only a successful group for the Chinese, particularly for the young adults, but
also
Linking Words
 the motivation to encourage more people to bravely face
risks
Use synonyms
, especially their own dreams, and work hard boldly.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, careful planning is crucial to obtain
success
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in all walks of life, from individuals to groups, to enterprises , to public organisations.
For example
Linking Words
, it is effective for students to make
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 exhaustive plan to face every examination,
such
Linking Words
 as time management and each subject target score planning, which is mostly helpful to clear their mind and study step by step.
This
Linking Words
 not only allows for better grades during the student years, but
also
Linking Words
 the establishment of good habits at a very young age has been made easier in the future in the field of personal and professional development to succeed more easily than others who do not have better planning.
Additionally
Linking Words
, for those young people who start a business after graduating from college, or for those who have established and developed well, it is undoubtedly possible to have a detailed company plan that specifies the details of the responsibilities of each partner and the details of the company's development and investment, which is quite important to achieve
success
Use synonyms
. In summary, whether taking
risks
Use synonyms
 and opportunities
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 or making plans carefully, both are vital to influence people’s
success
Use synonyms
. If an individual can combine them
together
Rephrase
apply
show examples
, it will be more significant to achieve more advantages in
success
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Make your view clear in the opening and end with a strong personal view.
coherence
Use short, simple sentences. Break long lines to keep focus.
coherence
Use one or two good examples and explain them well.
coherence
Link ideas with clear steps: state a point, explain, give an example, and show how it fits your view.
accuracy
Check names and facts for accuracy and spellings.
task response
The essay tries to show both sides and ends with a main idea.
coherence
Good use of sign post words like On the one hand and On the other hand.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: