IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is increasingly common for people to get the news from social media. Traditional sources of news like newspapers, television and radio are becoming less popular. Why is this so? Is it a positive or negative development?

#people #news #media #sources #newspapers #television #radio #development
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Reading the
media
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 reports from online interaction platforms
such
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 as Instagram, Twitter, and other mediums have risen rapidly since the internet took hold of people's lives in general.
Although
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 there are numerous drawbacks to getting dispatches from online portals, I believe it still has more perks than traditional mediums. There are several reasons why
news
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 from social
media
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 has more appeal than the one from traditional sources.
To begin
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 with, it is much more convenient to obtain it when you only need your own devices to access said information. Readers can receive the latest updates available without the hassle of visiting the nearest bookstore, even
while
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 on the go.
In addition
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, the unprecedented speed with which users can share content on the internet enables
news
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 to be accessed in
real-time
Correct your spelling
real time
show examples
, often eliminating the time delay
that is
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 needed by traditional publishing methods.
For instance
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, conventional publishers need to print the articles first which takes time,
whereas
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 publishing items on Instagram or Twitter lets the press skip the printing stage before releasing the information to a large audience.
Furthermore
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, social platforms allow users to engage with published
media
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 reports with likes, comments, and shared features. These features facilitate society's participation by providing a space for more diverse voices and perspectives.
On the other hand
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, surfing through online portals for information has several disadvantages as well.
While
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 it equips the public with room to voice out their opinion, it may
also
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 become a double-edged sword in terms of the
media
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 being an echo chamber. Since it is generally user-generated content, it can create a feedback loop where users are less exposed to alternative viewpoints and less likely to critically evaluate material.
This
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 might be particularly problematic in the context of politics, as it can lead to a lack of understanding of opposing points of view.
Moreover
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, there is
also
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 a definite concern over the large number of misinformation that can be circling on the internet considering there would be fewer curators online than in old-school outlets. The low barrier to entry on online services may reduce the credibility of reports circulating within those mediums. All in all, I strongly believe that
while
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 traditional sources still have positive aspects of giving the
news
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 to audiences, the convenience of getting
news
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 from social platforms is still more appealing because the benefits of easy access and features outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by onlyfineline on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task prompt. Specifically, discuss not only why social media has become a popular source of news but also more deeply analyze the positive and negative consequences of this trend. Consider adding more detailed examples or statistics to bolster your argument.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is mostly well-structured, consider providing clearer transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence. This can be achieved through the use of linking words or phrases that indicate the relationship between ideas.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by detailed examples or explanations. While you have provided support for your points, further elaboration would strengthen your argument. Additionally, vary your sentence structures to add flow to your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • real-time updates
  • fast-paced
  • diverse voices
  • perspectives
  • convenience
  • interactive nature
  • engage
  • misinformation
  • public trust
  • journalistic standards
  • echo chambers
  • critical thinking
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