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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the percentage of households that own three types of technology (a smartphone, a laptop, and a smart TV) in three countries in 2010 and 2020. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Country A: Smartphone 35 → 88, Laptop 55 → 72, Smart TV 12 → 60 Country B: Smartphone 28 → 81, Laptop 48 → 66, Smart TV 10 → 52 Country C: Smartphone 40 → 90, Laptop 60 → 75, Smart TV 15 → 65

The table
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
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 the households that own three types of technology (a smartphone, a laptop, and a smart TV) in countries A
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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Use synonyms
B and
Correct word order
and B
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in 2010 and 2020. Units are measured in
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
.
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
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,
using
Wrong verb form
the use
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 of all
gatjets
Correct your spelling
Gatwick
 increased in all countries.
In
Change preposition
At
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 the start of the given period most
papular
Use the right word
popular
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tupe
Correct your spelling
type
 of technology was laptops,
But
Fix capitalization
but
show examples
 in the end it changed
by
Change preposition
to
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 smartphones.
Linking Words
according
Fix capitalization
According
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 to the graph
Smartphones
Punctuation problem
, Smartphones
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 in 2010 in countries A,
B
Use synonyms
 and S
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 35, 28, and 40
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 respectively.
Then
Linking Words
 it rose significantly,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 A
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to 88, in
B
Use synonyms
 to 81, in C to 90
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 less needble smart divase TV comprised from 10 to 15
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 in 2010,
But
Fix capitalization
but
show examples
 rose
for
Change preposition
apply
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from 42 to 50
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 in
final
Correct article usage
the final
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 year. When it comes to laptops in country A
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 made up 55% at the beginning and 72%
at the end
Linking Words
 of
given
Correct article usage
the given
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 chart.
Linking Words
Likewise
Punctuation problem
Likewise,
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 in country
B
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, consuption
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consuption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of Laptops
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 12% from 48 in 2020.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
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 country c accounted for 60% in the beginning and 75% after 10
years
Correct your spelling
10-year
 period

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words b with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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