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Band 6

Some people think that success in life depends mainly on hard work, while others believe that money and appearance are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Success
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 is a common goal for most people, but there is a debate about what truly leads to
success
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. Some believe that hard
work
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 is the key factor,
while
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 others argue that money and physical appearance play a more important role. In my opinion, hard
work
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 is the most essential element for achieving long-term
success
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. On the one hand, money and appearance can create opportunities.
For example
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, wealthy individuals often have access to better education and business connections. Attractive people may
also
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 receive special attention in certain professions
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such
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, such
show examples
 as media or marketing.
As a result
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, they may progress faster in their careers. If someone is born into a rich family, they may start their journey from a stronger position than others.
On the other hand
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, hard
work
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 builds real skills and experience. Without effort and determination,
success
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 cannot
last
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 for a long time.
According to
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 The Prothom Alo, many successful entrepreneurs in Bangladesh started their careers with limited resources but achieved their goals through dedication and persistence. Hard
work
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 not only improves ability but
also
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 increases confidence and problem-solving skills. A person who works consistently can overcome challenges as if obstacles are opportunities to grow. In conclusion,
although
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 money and appearance may provide short-term advantages, hard
work
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 is the foundation of lasting
success
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. If individuals remain focused and committed, they can achieve their dreams regardless of their background.

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structure
Use a short plan: intro, 2 body parts for each view, and a brief conclusion that repeats your view.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea.
lexical
Use simple words only; keep grammar clear and simple.
examples
Give strong, specific examples to back each point. Avoid too general or vague statements.
conclusion
End with a clear restate of your view and a quick idea of why.
content
Clear view on the topic and balanced discussion.
cohesion
Good use of linking words to show contrast and flow.
content
Examples help explain points.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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