IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries, the gap between the rich and the poor is widening. What problems does this cause, and how can these problems be solved?

In the modern world, it is undeniable that there is a wider difference between the rich and the poor, which has become a serious issue in most cities.
This
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 trend has become increasingly common in many countries. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the effect and the solution of
this
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 problem. One of the most obvious effects is that poor living conditions in communities in each country and inequality for poor
people
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 are expanding. To illustrate, when there is a large gap between rich and poor
people
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, it will lead to discrimination and unhappiness for poor
people
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.
For instance
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, schools and universities are essential for many children because education is necessary when they apply for work in the future.
In addition
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, children should have an opportunity to study and work
similarly
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 to rich
people
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 in order to achieve equality in their lives with rich
people
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. The main solution that should not be ignored is that the government should recognise the issue and support the population to achieve equality with rich
people
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. To clarify, the government can develop and invest in various aspects
such
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 as healthcare, technology, and high-speed railways.
For example
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, improving hospitals for
people
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 who are sick and providing welfare support for them can help reduce inequality.
Also
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, digital machines and television should be accessible to children and students to give them entertainment and make them feel happy in order to improve their quality of life.
Furthermore
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, providing transportation,
such
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 as high-speed railways, cars, and motorcycles, should help
people
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 who are indigent to have the same opportunities as wealthy
people
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. To recapitulate, it is evident that destitute
people
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 and wealthy
people
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 must have the right to fairness, and the government should ensure that all citizens have a high quality of life and have better facilities for their lives.
Therefore
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, I believe that development can support
people
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 who lack money, give access to facilities, and reduce social division.

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tip
Plan your essay with a clear view: state your main idea in the intro and keep it through the essay.
tip
Use one idea per paragraph. Start each paragraph with a topic sentence.
tip
Give specific examples to back up points, and explain how they show the problem or fix.
tip
Keep grammar simple. Short sentences help you avoid mistakes.
structure
The essay has a good outline with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
It talks about causes and possible actions by the government.
content
Some examples and details are used to explain points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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