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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people strive to maintain a successful career and happy family life at the same time, but fail to do so. What are the reasons of this failure? What are the possible solutions?

Society increasingly faces the challenge of balancing
career
Use synonyms
 ambitions with family life. Many individuals strive to achieve success in both areas
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 often fall short.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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 struggle and propose possible solutions. On one hand, several factors contribute to the difficulties in maintaining a successful
career
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 alongside a happy family life. Primarily,
time
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 constraints play a significant role. Many professionals, particularly in urban areas like Casablanca,
work
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 long hours, leaving little
time
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 for family interactions. A recent study showed that 60% of working
parents
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 in Morocco feel they lack quality
time
Use synonyms
 with their children.
Additionally
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, societal expectations place pressure on individuals to excel at
work
Use synonyms
, often at the expense of personal relationships.
For instance
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, women,
in particular
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, may face challenges in managing both
career
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 and family expectations, leading to feelings of inadequacy.
Furthermore
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, limited support systems,
such
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 as affordable
childcare
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, exacerbate the issue, making it difficult for
parents
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 to balance responsibilities.
On the other hand
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, there are viable solutions to address these challenges.
Firstly
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, implementing flexible
work
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 arrangements can significantly enhance
work
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-life balance. Companies in Morocco could adopt remote
work
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 options, allowing employees to spend more
time
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 at home.
Secondly
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, promoting shared family responsibilities can alleviate pressure on one partner.
For example
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, encouraging both
parents
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 to participate equally in
childcare
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 can foster a healthier family dynamic.
Lastly
Linking Words
, increasing access to affordable
childcare
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 services can help working
parents
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 focus on their careers without sacrificing family
time
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. In conclusion,
while
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 the struggle for a successful
career
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 and a happy family life is common, adopting flexible
work
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 practices, promoting shared responsibilities, and improving
childcare
Use synonyms
 access can create a more harmonious balance.

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content
Explain each reason and each fix with more detail and clear steps.
cohesion
Make the flow smoother with more linking words and clear transitions.
style
Keep sentences short and simple; check grammar and avoid long lines.
structure
Have a clear main idea in each paragraph and start it with a topic sentence.
structure
Clear idea from the start and a good wrap up.
evidence
Use real place and numbers to back points.
cohesion
Good order: problem then fix.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • balance
  • career
  • family
  • time
  • plan
  • limits
  • hours
  • work
  • home
  • kids
  • partner
  • talk
  • goal
  • help
  • support
  • say no
  • ask for help
  • job
  • leave
  • money
  • boss
  • share chores
  • health
  • sleep
  • progress
  • step
  • family time
  • decision
What to do next:
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