Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many
people
have different views about if
Correct word choice
whether
the
advertising Correct article usage
apply
beneficial
for Add a missing verb
is beneficial
people
to buy things.There are someone
consider it play Correct your spelling
some who
a
important role Change the article
an
for
enhancing Change preposition
in
people
’s buying desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires
while
others guess they are rarely concerned about it because it is general.Although
i
think it is reasonable Change the capitalization
I
about
both Change preposition
apply
of
views,Change preposition
apply
i
personally prefer Change the capitalization
I
to
the latter.
With the development of Change preposition
apply
the
advertising,more and more Correct article usage
apply
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
advertisements
and it
attract many customers’ Correct pronoun usage
apply
attention
successfully.An excellent advertisement could allow guests to have more understanding for
their product and it Change preposition
of
do
play an important part Change the verb form
does
of
the publicity of goods.Take the case of the popular brand,Coca,it Change preposition
in
spend
a lot of money Change the verb form
spends
for
Change preposition
on
advertisement
every year and great results have been achieved.It became one of the most popular Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
brand
around the world.Change to a plural noun
brands
Besides
,we could
see that there are many Wrong verb form
can
advertisements
everywhere and it tremendously attract
the Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
attention
of pedestrians.It has affect
Change the verb form
affected
people
’s consumption concept to some extent successfully.
However
,more and more advertisements
appear lead
to Wrong verb form
leading
people
feel bother
because they may have some universality to advertise.It is so general that Change the verb form
bothered
people
annoy
Wrong verb form
are annoyed
for
it for a long time.Through that feeling of Change preposition
by
people
,they prefer to pay a
little Correct article usage
apply
attention
for
the Change preposition
to
advertisements
,allowing
to the failure of some Verb problem
leading
advertisements
.Besides
,the
Correct article usage
apply
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
advertisements
always occupy in
the minority.Others hardly draw Change preposition
apply
people
’s attention
,leading to people
more and more disregard for it even
Correct word choice
and even
get
bored.Wrong verb form
getting
Due to
that idea,advertising no longer play
a significant role for merchant to advertise their goods.
In conclusion,it Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
seem
to me that both Change the verb form
seems
of
opinions are rational.Change preposition
apply
However
,i
guess advertising Change the capitalization
I
became
so general that no more Wrong verb form
has become
attention
of
Change preposition
from
people
is more correct.Submitted by fiasngs on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views, but there are areas where the response can be more complete. For instance, more specific examples and detailed explanations would enhance your argument.
task achievement
Some of your ideas need to be more clearly explained to ensure that they are comprehensive. Try to elaborate on points with clearer detail and analysis.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each of your paragraphs is well-developed and connected to the main argument. Paying attention to internal paragraph structures could improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on avoiding repetition and redundant phrases. This will make your essay more concise and clear.
general
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with distinct paragraphs addressing different points of view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.