IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice

#friend #schools #difficulty #advice #suggestions #friends #clubs #school #activities
Dear, Ahmed. I hope
this
 message finds you well. I'
m
 writing to help you in your tough situation. It's truly difficult to deal with issues
such
 as changing schools and not knowing anyone in the school,
however
, I'
m
 here to support you.
Firstly
, be attractive to your new colleagues and ask them whatever you want as
this
 could break the wall between students.
Secondly
, after we finish the third class we meet in the outdoor area at 9:30 Am, It's really beneficial to engage in general conversation. I would recommend you join clubs
such
 as football clubs or sports gyms because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of students come to these clubs every day. Actually, It encourages you to talk and introduce yourself to friends.
Lastly
, do not be shy to ask me or contact me for advice as I said before I'
m
 here to assist you in your difficult situation. Thank you for contacting and trusting me I'
m
 eagerly waiting for your response. Best wishes, Naif Nazawi.
Submitted by naif.waleead on

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structure
Consider structuring your paragraphs to ensure each one addresses a single main idea, which can make your letter even clearer and more organized.
content
You could elaborate slightly on how to engage in a conversation or suggest specific activities related to the clubs, to further enhance your friend's understanding.
tone
The greeting and closing are appropriately included, giving the letter a friendly tone.
task
The letter presents useful suggestions such as joining clubs and participating in activities, which are well aligned with the task requirement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • introduce yourself
  • genuine interest
  • rapport
  • like-minded individuals
  • school community
  • volunteer
  • open-minded
  • comfort zone
  • casual setting
  • hobbies and activities
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