IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people live longer and life expectancy increases. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Medical
care
Use synonyms
 is important to let
suffered
Wrong verb form
suffering
show examples
 individuals live longer with less pain and taken
care
Use synonyms
 of,
despate
Correct your spelling
despite
 the
disadavtanges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of it,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 believe the
advatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
 will
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages.
to begin
Linking Words
 with, i will ducess one of the golden reasons for a person to take the medical
care
Use synonyms
 bath, it gives them more
time
Use synonyms
, more
time
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 of learning, more
time
Use synonyms
 to grow, and much more
time
Use synonyms
 to see their families, not only
this
Linking Words
, it benfits others as well, the more the person gets older, the more they have a clear growing wisdom, wisdom to help work, to help school, and to help his community life, as well his childern and grandchildern. Morefore, they are always disadvantages facing each benfit, the more years of life, the more higher costs for health
care
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 and
care
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 at home,
this
Linking Words
 can put stress on money, taxes, and pressure on the family to pay the whole costs of healing process, but in my personal opinion i would say
this
Linking Words
 type of disadvanges does not face the bigger advange of the bless of seeing someone getting better and healthier.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the good parts can win if we plan well. and follow a good
stratgey
Correct your spelling
strategy
, with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
better
care
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 and choosing a good medical
care
Use synonyms
 company
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
actully
Correct your spelling
actually
Use synonyms
care
Correct subject-verb agreement
cares
show examples
 about the
patient
Check wording
patient's
show examples
 health and
phychological
Correct your spelling
psychological
 condition.
Overall
Linking Words
 longer life with your loved ones will always bring good rather than harm.

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structure
Plan your essay before you write. Make a clear point per paragraph and use simple links to join ideas.
language
Use only simple, correct English. Check spell and grammar.
content
Give clear examples to back each main idea.
task response
Make a strong ending that shows your view clearly.
idea
The essay shows a view that advantages can be bigger than disadvantages.
content
Some ideas relate to the topic, like longer life and how it can help family.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • long life
  • life
  • health
  • health care
  • doctor
  • hospital
  • medicine
  • illness
  • age
  • old
  • young
  • time
  • learn
  • work
  • job
  • family
  • friend
  • money
  • cost
  • save
  • spend
  • tax
  • plan
  • system
  • government
  • care
  • support
  • home
  • future
  • good
  • bad
  • problem
  • risk
  • gain
  • balance
  • care for old
  • old age
  • more
  • less
  • together
  • treat
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