IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The graph provided illustrates information about the system of underground railway
in
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system in
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 six different towns.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that London had
the
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the longest underground railway among other cities, followed by Paris and Tokyo as the top three,
while
Linking Words
 Kyoto had the lowest
kilometres
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Tokyo and Paris were dominant in
the
Correct article usage
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terms of the number of
passengers
Use synonyms
 per
a
Correct article usage
apply
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year,
whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 Kyoto made up the smallest. Based on data , the London railway was the oldest among the others and had the longest
kilometers
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kilometres
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 of route and number of
passengers
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 at almost 400
kilometres
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 and 775 million
passengers
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 each year, followed by Paris and Tokyo , with both being above 150
kilometres
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 and with
passengers
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 of around 1191and 1927, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Kyoto and Los Angeles were the least in the ranking of distant
route
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routes
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 and number of visitors at 11
kilometres
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 and 28
kilometres
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sequentially
Rephrase
respectively
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, 45 million and 50 million respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words kilometres, passengers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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