IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Companies pay salespeople according to how much they sell to customers. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages both to salespeople and customers?

Usually
Add a comma
Usually,
show examples
 businesses associated with sales
are pays
Wrong verb form
pay
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 a
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
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 income that
Correct article usage
the salesman
show examples
salesman
Fix the agreement mistake
salesmen
show examples
 have brought to
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
.I think it has more drawbacks
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
advantages
Use synonyms
 . On one hand,
this
Linking Words
 concept
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
show examples
 off a limitation of salary.In
theory
Add a comma
theory,
show examples
 it allows
to
Correct pronoun usage
one to
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 earn any amount of
money
Use synonyms
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 a
milion
Correct your spelling
million
 dollars
in
Punctuation problem
, in
show examples
 one month.It is a big incentive to work harder and
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
 your skills.
Furthemore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,in
this
Linking Words
system
Punctuation problem
system,
show examples
 more hardworking and
deticated
Correct your spelling
dedicated
 persons are being constantly
rewarder
Use the right word
rewarded
show examples
.Because in
sales
Correct article usage
a sales
show examples
 occupation your
comminication abillites
Correct your spelling
communication abilities
 and the way you represent a good or a service
what
Correct word choice
that
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 you
providing playing
Wrong verb form
provide play
show examples
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 role in
succeses
Correct your spelling
success
.So if you are a good
salesman
Punctuation problem
salesman,
show examples
 you
are
Verb problem
will
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 receive more
money
Use synonyms
 in general.
Moreover
Linking Words
,not only
emloye
Correct your spelling
employees
 benefit from
this
Linking Words
.
Employer
Fix the agreement mistake
Employers
show examples
also
Linking Words
 obtain
advantages
Use synonyms
 because
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 need to motivate
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
persnonel
Correct your spelling
personnel
.Qualified
personel
Correct your spelling
personnel
already
Verb problem
are already
show examples
 rewarded
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
unqualifies
Use the right word
unqualified
show examples
personel
Correct your spelling
personnel
 are taking example from their
collegues
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 faster. On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand,it
envokes
Use the right word
evokes
show examples
 strong tension
betweenn colegues
Correct your spelling
between colleagues
.Each client is a
profit
Punctuation problem
profit,
show examples
 so rivalry is a common thing among workers.It causes bad
intepersonals
Correct your spelling
interpersonal
 connections and bad
realationships
Correct your spelling
relationships
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
amout
Correct your spelling
amount
 of stress imposed with
thougth havent
Correct your spelling
thought hasn't
 sold so
havent
Correct your spelling
hasn't
 earned is extremely high.It
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
pshylogical
Correct your spelling
psychological
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as anxiety and emotional burnout.
Also
Linking Words
 may cause insomnia
Punctuation problem
, what
show examples
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 already has
influence
Correct article usage
an influence
show examples
 not
Rephrase
only
show examples
on
mentlal
Correct your spelling
mental
 well-being but a physical health. I think that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
Use synonyms
advantages
Check wording
apply
show examples
outweigh.Main pros of
such
Linking Words
 pay scheme
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
money
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 in
name
Correct article usage
the name
show examples
 of it yoy risk
to sacrafice
Verb problem
sacrificing
show examples
 your mental and physical
healt
Correct your spelling
health
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 the
healt
Correct your spelling
health
 is
pricelles
Correct your spelling
precious
 and could be bought with any
money
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,despite
monetery
Correct your spelling
monetary
advantages
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
principe
Correct your spelling
principle
cons
Punctuation problem
, cons
show examples
totaly
Correct your spelling
totally
 outweigh it.
The health
Correct determiner usage
Health
show examples
 is the most
valueble
Correct your spelling
valuable
 what we have in our life
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 of
long period
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
emloyment
Correct your spelling
employment
 on job with
this
Linking Words
 pay
principe
Correct your spelling
principle
 are
terible
Correct your spelling
terrible
 for our well-being

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structure
Plan your essay first. Say your view in one line. Then add 2 or 3 main points. End with your view again.
language
Use simple and clean spelling and grammar. Check easy mistakes.
content
Give clear examples. Talk about both sales people and customers.
content
You show the idea that pay by sale can hurt health.
content
You note money and stress as a big part of the issue.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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