Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influences play a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

I largely agree that
although
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parents
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are primarily responsible for raising a child, outside influences
also
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play a crucial role in shaping their development.
Parents
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are usually the first and most important role models in a child’s life. From an early age, they teach basic values, social
behavior
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behaviour
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, and moral principles.
For example
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,
children
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often learn how to communicate, respect others, and deal with challenges through observing their
parents
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.
In addition
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,
parents
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provide emotional support and guidance, which helps
children
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develop confidence and a sense of security. Without
this
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strong foundation, it may be difficult for
children
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to grow into responsible and well-adjusted adults.
However
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, as
children
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grow older, external factors begin to have a significant impact on their attitudes and
behavior
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behaviour
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. One of the most influential factors is the school environment. Teachers and classmates can shape a child’s academic interests, social skills, and worldview.
For instance
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, supportive teachers can inspire students to pursue their talents,
while
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friendships can influence hobbies, language, and lifestyle choices.
Moreover
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, modern technology and media
also
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expose
children
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to different cultures, ideas, and information that may shape their perspectives beyond what they learn at home. Another important influence is the wider community. Participation in sports teams, clubs, and cultural activities helps
children
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develop teamwork, discipline, and independence. These experiences allow them to interact with people from different backgrounds and learn practical life skills that
parents
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alone cannot fully provide. In conclusion,
while
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parents
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play the central role in raising
children
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and laying the foundation for their character, outside influences
such
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as school, peers, and society
also
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significantly contribute to their
overall
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development.
Therefore
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, I strongly agree that a child’s growth is shaped by both parental guidance and external factors

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structure
Have a small, clear view in the first line of the intro and end with a simple restatement in the conclusion
coherence
Start each para with one clear idea and a short sentence to show it
content
Give one or two exact cases or facts and say why they matter for the view
task response
The essay shows a clear view that both parents and outside factors shape a child
coherence
Good use of linking words to show how ideas connect
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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