IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Some people think living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many
people
Use synonyms
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 that modern-day technologies have adversely impacted social relationships. I agree with the opinion given to a small extent; I mainly stand against
this
Linking Words
 idea for more plausible reasons. On the one hand, it is understandable why
people
Use synonyms
 believe that modern technology has a negative impact on relationships. First and foremost, one significant reason is the potential for misunderstanding. When
people
Use synonyms
 communicate through text messages, social media, or emails,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 often
lacks
Correct subject-verb agreement
lack
show examples
 the gestures, emotions that face-to-face interactions provide.
For example
Linking Words
, a joke or a
might
Check wording
comment might
show examples
 be taken seriously, leading to unnecessary conflict between individuals. Over time, these small misunderstandings can reduce the
overall
Linking Words
 quality of relationships and
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 it harder for
people
Use synonyms
 to build trust.

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task response
Answer all parts of the question. Your view is clear, but the essay is not finished, so your full answer is not shown.
task response
Add one more main body part and a short end part. This will make your position stronger and more complete.
task response
Give more clear support for your main idea. You say you mostly disagree, but here you only show the other side.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow in this part. Keep one main idea in each part.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care, like first, for example, over time, on the other hand. They help the reader follow your points.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow. One or two lines are not complete or smooth, so the meaning stops.
coherence and cohesion
Your first body part has a clear topic and one main point.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple link words well, such as first and for example.
task response
You give a relevant example about text messages and jokes.
task response
Your opinion is stated in the opening, so the reader knows your view.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory problems
  • population density
  • stress levels
  • mental health issues
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • healthcare facilities
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • psychological well-being
  • recreational areas
  • social networks
What to do next:
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