Some people say that modern technology has made life too complicated and the solution is for everyone to live a simpler life and avoid using technology. Do you agree or disagree? Give examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is argued that life is getting too complicated because of technological advancements, and a proposed solution is to completely quit using technology. I totally disagree with
this
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statement because not only does technology help to bring the world together, but it
also
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assists people in their daily
lives
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.
Firstly
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, computers are deeply embedded in our
lives
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. The overwhelming majority of people worldwide interact with
hi tech
Correct your spelling
hi-tech
on a daily basis in a way or another, by using phones, driving cars and utilising software.
This
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is because it makes life more convenient. Zoom,
for example
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, is an online platform that allows users to have real-time video calls anytime, anywhere in the world.
Thus
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, students can have education through virtual classes, without the need to go physically to the classroom, so it is actually making our
lives
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easier, not the opposite.
Secondly
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, it is the technological developments that have made transportation much quicker. Aeroplanes,
for example
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, made the thought of travelling thousands of
kilometers
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kilometres
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in a matter of minutes possible.
Hence
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, goods
as well as
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passengers can move more freely and rapidly.
For instance
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, AliExpress and Amazon are some large-scale online stores, from which you can order products, and have
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
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delivered in days, thanks to aviation, without the effort of going to a real store. In conclusion, technology has made our
lives
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easier than ever, and not the other way around. It made numerous daily tasks faster and more convenient than ever, and
to avoid
Wrong verb form
avoiding
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using it is not the solution.

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task response
Make your main idea a bit more full. Say why some people think tech makes life hard, then show why you do not agree.
task response
Use examples that fit your point in a more exact way. The plane example is good, but 'in minutes' is not true for long trips.
task response
Add one more clear detail in each body part to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Some link words are good, but you can make the flow smoother with clearer topic sentences and less very long sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Check small word choice and grammar issues, because they can make your meaning less clear in some parts.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and develop it step by step.
task response
You answer the question clearly and your position is strong from the start.
task response
Your examples about Zoom and online shopping are relevant and easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • life
  • time
  • work
  • plan
  • choose
  • many
  • new
  • tools
  • messages
  • limit
  • safe
  • learn
  • habit
  • balance
  • easy
  • hard
  • help
  • problem
  • idea
  • view
  • example
  • talk
  • end
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