IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that modern communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
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 think that modern
communication
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 technology
is having
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has
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 a negative effect on social
relationships
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. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Over recent years, more and more individuals consider that the way of technological
communication
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 is having an unfavourable impact on social
relationships
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. From my point of view, I totally agree with the given idea for a number of plausible reasons. One argument is that it reduces direct interaction between
people
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. The population mostly rely on keeping in touch via chatting, video calls or social media platforms, which makes
people
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 less communicative in real life and less able to understand others from a personal view.
For instance
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, chatting with your friend may affect your connection
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, that
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that
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which
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leads
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can lead
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 to a lost friendship.
As a result
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,
people
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 gradually become less comfortable with face-to-face conversations
and
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, and
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 their social skills may weaken over time. Another argument why technological
communication
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 can negatively affect social
relationships
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 is that it allows
people
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 to ignore messages and can create confusion. In online
communication
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, individuals may read a message but choose not to reply, which can make the other person feel unimportant or disappointed.
Moreover
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, text messages often lack facial expressions and tone of voice, so the meaning of the message may not be understandable.
For example
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, a short reply might seem bad-mannered or impolite even if that was not the meaning.
As a result
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, ignoring messages and wrongly understanding texts can weaken
relationships
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 and create distance between
people
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. In conclusion, technological
communication
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 has significantly changed the way
people
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 interact with each other.
Although
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 it makes
communication
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 faster and more convenient, it can
also
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 weaken real-life
relationships
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.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should try to balance online
communication
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 with face-to-face interaction to maintain strong social connections.

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task response
Make your answer more direct. Say clearly in the intro that you fully agree, and keep this same line in all body parts.
task response
Add one more clear and real example for each main point. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more deeply. Some parts are clear, but a few points are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Your essay is easy to follow, but some links feel basic or repeated.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each body paragraph has one clear main idea and full support. This will make your structure stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow inside paragraphs. A few lines could connect more smoothly.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Your main ideas stay on the topic and are easy to understand.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is logical, so the reader can follow your thinking.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interactions
  • superficial relationships
  • meaningful conversations
  • notifications
  • long-distance relationships
  • online communities
  • social networks
  • social anxiety
  • digital communication
  • real-world interactions
  • over-reliance
  • detrimental effect
  • inhibit
  • deep social connections
  • distract
What to do next:
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