IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Today, most people get married and give birth in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Is this a positive or negative development?

In present, the biggest part of society
choose
Correct subject-verb agreement
chooses
show examples
 to start their families and get married at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 mature
age
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Instead
Fix capitalization
instead
show examples
 of
get
Verb problem
having
show examples
Use synonyms
birth
Check wording
children
show examples
 in
youth
Correct pronoun usage
their youth
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 decision is more conscious than
to have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 kids when you are
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
chil
Correct your spelling
child
. There are a lot of reasons why
It
Verb problem
it is
show examples
 much better to give
birth
Use synonyms
 in
thirties
Correct pronoun usage
your thirties
show examples
 than
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 young
age
Use synonyms
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
 my mind,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 30 and higher, people could give all
needs
Correct article usage
the needs
show examples
 for their child cause of
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
 income and way of
life
Use synonyms
. More
often
Punctuation problem
often,
show examples
 individuals who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 achieved a mature
age
Use synonyms
 have their own accommodation and
profit
Check wording
income
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be enough to provide
Use synonyms
life
Check wording
a living
show examples
 for their
kids
Check wording
children
show examples
.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 couples who are in
age
Use synonyms
 of middle twenty’s almost in all cases do not have all
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 privileges.
Young
Correct article usage
The young
show examples
 generation
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 other
priority’s
Check wording
priorities
show examples
, it’s important for them to live in their own pleasure and enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
, but frequently
Linking Words
this type
Fix the agreement mistake
these types
show examples
 of parents can not give a perfect childhood for their baby. Despite my opinion on
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
Change preposition
at in
show examples
in
Use the right word
an
show examples
 early
age
Use synonyms
, I have
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
meaning
Check wording
opinion
show examples
 about marriage. I
wondering
Wrong verb form
wonder
show examples
that
Change preposition
if
show examples
 the twenties is the best
age
Use synonyms
 to get engaged
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 the reason that the main thing
befor
Correct your spelling
before
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a family is to have a
preatty
Correct your spelling
pretty
 well
relationships
Fix the agreement mistake
relationship
show examples
 with your partner, you
also
Linking Words
 must be confident in their devotion and intentions. For
me
Punctuation problem
me,
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 a marriage registration is
necessity
Correct article usage
a necessity
show examples
 because it confirms your family status and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 opportunity to
make
Use the right word
take
show examples
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
, more conscious steps in
yours
Correct pronoun usage
your
show examples
 future. In conclusion , to give
a
Correct word order
birth is a
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
 is very serious decision, which must be thought out,
So
Fix capitalization
so
show examples
 that you can provide your child with everything they need for an ideal
life
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 before that couple must have an official marital status and
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 together.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. You say late birth is good, but your view on marriage is not fully linked to the question.
task response
Give one or two clear examples to support your ideas, for example money, work, or home life.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easy to follow. Start each body paragraph with one clear point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one paragraph for one main idea. Do not mix birth and marriage ideas too much.
task response
You give a clear opinion that having children in the thirties is better.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main points are mostly relevant to family, age, and money.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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