One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, there has been an ongoing debate about whether improvements in medical care have more advantages than disadvantages.
While
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some people believe that it has various benefits,
such
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as an increase in
life
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expectancy, others argue that it brings several challenges. On the one hand, many people believe that living longer has become a significant goal in every person’s
life
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.
This
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is mainly because nowadays the majority of health problems are identified, and doctors are often able to cope with them.
As a result
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, there is a higher
life
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expectancy than in the past.
For example
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, during the eighteenth century, tuberculosis was a
life
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-threatening disease, which could be considered one of the principal causes of death.
In contrast
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, today there is a vaccine that can prevent it, and
also
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different treatments to cure it.
On the other hand
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, others claim that an increase in
life
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expectancy leads to several issues. The first one is a change in the labour market. If the population is expected to live longer, the retirement age will be higher.
Consequently
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, job opportunities for the younger generation may decrease.
For instance
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, in Europe, the average age of retirement is increasing more and more, especially over the
last
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two decades.
In addition
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, the difficulty young people face in finding a job is a serious concern. In conclusion, both perspectives have their advantages.
Although
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an older population could create economic challenges, I believe that living longer reflects an excellent result for human history and medical progress, as it allows individuals to spend more time with their families, enjoying their healthier and longer lives.

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task response
Make your main answer more clear from the start. You discuss both sides well, but your opinion should be stronger and more direct.
task response
Explain why the good points are stronger than the bad points in more detail. This is very important for this question.
task response
Use one more clear example for your final view, not only for the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow, but some links are a bit general. Try to make the connection between ideas more exact.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences could develop one point more before moving to the next point.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphing is good. Keep one main idea in each body paragraph.
task response
You answer both sides of the question and give your own view in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples to support your ideas, which helps your message.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow from start to finish.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • elderly population
  • health care systems
  • pension funds
  • extended family relationships
  • quality of life
  • aging population
  • economic growth
  • volunteer work
  • expertise
  • financial planning
  • retirement
  • age-related diseases
  • medical research
  • healthier lifestyles
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