IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below give information about the amount of beer and fruit juice consumed per person per year in different countries.

The bar chart illustrates the percentages of households living in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, home
ownership
Use synonyms
 increased significantly during the period,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of rented households declined. The two figures were equal in 1971. In 1918, around 78% of households lived in rented accommodation,
whereas
Linking Words
 only about 22% owned their homes. The percentage of home
ownership
Use synonyms
 gradually increased over the following decades, reaching approximately 50% in 1971. After 1971,
ownership
Use synonyms
 continued to rise and peaked at about 69% in 2001.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the proportion of rented homes steadily decreased from nearly 80% in 1918 to roughly 31% in 2001. By 2011,
ownership
Use synonyms
 slightly declined to around 65%,
while
Linking Words
 renting increased modestly to about 36%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ownership with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: