IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows British emigration to selected destinations between 2004 and 2007

The graph illustrates
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 five different countries ( Australia, Spain, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and France )
Change preposition
from where
show examples
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 British
sitizens
Correct your spelling
citizens
 immigrated from 2004 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be noticed that the emigration to Australia has been
stadily
Correct your spelling
steadily
 high between 2004 to 2007.
However
Linking Words
, the lowest number of people moved to New
Zealand
Use synonyms
. The highest rate of emigration, has been notified in Australia in 2006,
aproximatelly
Correct your spelling
approximately
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 53
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
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British immigrants.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the data remains
to flactuate
Verb problem
fluctuating
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar numbers, about 39-45
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people in 2004, 2005 and 2007
years
Check wording
apply
show examples
. It
Linking Words
also can
Correct word order
can also
show examples
 be seen that the second most popular destination is Spain. The numbers are the same from 2004 to 2005 (30000),
whereas
Linking Words
 in 2006 the data steadily drops to its lowest point
38
Punctuation problem
, 38
show examples
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 in 2007. Meanwhile, New
Zealand
Use synonyms
 presents
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 stable drop in figures from its peak
24
Change preposition
of 24
show examples
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
 in 2004, to its lowest rate
20000
Change preposition
of 20000
show examples
 in 2007. It can be
notised
Correct your spelling
noted
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that the amount of British
emgration
Correct your spelling
emigration
 is the same in New
Zealand
Use synonyms
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and France in 2007.
However
Linking Words
, the peak of the migration to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
has been
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 in 2004 and 2006, with the same
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of people (
23 000
Correct your spelling
23,000
). The chart shows
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that the highest point of migration in France is in 2005, almost the same numbers as in Spain in the same year, 24
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words zealand, thousands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drops" was used 2 times.
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