IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people these days have computer, laptops, telephones at their homes for work. Do you think, working from home has more advantages or disadvantages? Give reasons

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Introduction
Over the
last
Linking Words
 few years,
specially
Use the right word
especially
show examples
 after COVID,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
telework and
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
it has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become common among
workers
Use synonyms
 of all ages.
This
Linking Words
 event made some
technologic
Replace the word
technological
 devices
such
Linking Words
 as
computer
Check wording
computers
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, laptop and telephones
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
play an interesting role in daily tasks and
work
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
In my personal opinion and experience,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly believe that working from
home
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than
disadventages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 for
workers
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.
Body paragraph 2
Firstly
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, the
workers
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 can spend more time with their families and sons: beging in house, they can split the time between daily homework and the specific task of their own jobs.
Body paragraph 3
Secondly
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, when their jobs are not
to
Rephrase
too
show examples
 strict, they can even
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 from
another
Correct determiner usage
other
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 places where they feel more
confortables
Correct your spelling
comfortable
,
such
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a
Change preposition
as a
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yard, pool or even the beach, always trying to avoid
distractors
Correct your spelling
distractions
 and keeping focus
in
Change preposition
on
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 the tasks.
Body paragraph 4
Some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
this
Linking Words
 option could be limited by connection
avaiability
Correct your spelling
availability
, but in the same technology
had develop
Wrong verb form
has developed
show examples
 new systems to get good connectivity
arround
Correct your spelling
around
 the world
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 in remote places,
for instance
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,
starlink
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Starlink
show examples
.
Body paragraph 5
All
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 advantages will happen
obviusly
Correct your spelling
obviously
 under ideal conditions where
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the rest of the family
cooperate
Correct subject-verb agreement
cooperates
show examples
 with a good
home
Use synonyms
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Body paragraph 6
However
Linking Words
, the homework could
have
Correct word order
also have
show examples
also
Linking Words
 disadvantages.
For example
Linking Words
, in houses where there are many distractors and
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 "
home
Use synonyms
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environment
", telework could be unproductive and
anoying
Correct your spelling
annoying
, because the
workers
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 need more time to
get
Verb problem
make
show examples
 enough progress or
achieve
Verb problem
complete
show examples
 tasks.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the homework is a good option for people who have enough conditions
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to do that, but
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 really important to generate a daily routine and ambient which allows to
compatibilise
Correct your spelling
combine
home
Use synonyms
 and
work
Use synonyms
 in the same place.

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task response
Answer the question in a more direct way all through the essay. Say clearly why the good side is stronger than the bad side.
task response
Add one more clear bad point, so both sides are shown before you choose your view.
task response
Use simple and real examples to support each main point.
coherence cohesion
Put one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with clear words like first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts now feel sudden or not fully linked.
task response
You give a clear opinion that working from home has more good points than bad points.
task response
You include both advantages and disadvantages, so the answer is on topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Words like firstly, secondly, however, and in conclusion help guide the reader.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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