IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

For a less developed country, the disadvantages of tourism are as great as the advantages. What is your opinion?

Tourism
Use synonyms
 has become an important industry for many countries, especially less developed nations.
While
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tourism
Use synonyms
 can bring several benefits, it can
also
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 create certain problems. In my opinion,
although
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tourism
Use synonyms
 has some disadvantages, the advantages are greater if it is managed properly. One major advantage of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is economic growth. When international visitors travel to a country, they spend money on hotels, food, transportation, and entertainment.
This
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 helps increase national income and supports local businesses.
In addition
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,
tourism
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 creates many job opportunities for local people,
such
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 as tour guides, hotel staff, and restaurant workers.
As a result
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, the standard of living can improve. Another benefit is the development of infrastructure. Governments often invest in better roads, airports, and public services in order to attract more tourists. These improvements not only benefit visitors but
also
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 make life easier for local residents.
However
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,
tourism
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 can
also
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 have some disadvantages.
For example
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, large numbers of tourists may cause environmental damage,
such
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 as pollution, destruction of natural areas, and increased waste.
Moreover
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,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can sometimes lead to the loss of local culture if communities change their traditions to satisfy tourists’ expectations. Despite these drawbacks, I believe the advantages of
tourism
Use synonyms
 outweigh the disadvantages. With proper planning and responsible
tourism
Use synonyms
 policies, governments can protect the environment and preserve cultural heritage
while
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 still benefiting from
tourism
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. In conclusion,
tourism
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 brings both positive and negative effects to less developed countries, but
overall
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 it provides valuable economic and social benefits when it is carefully managed.

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task response
For task response: your view is clear, and you answer both sides. To get a higher score, add one more real and clear example for harm from tourism and one more for good from tourism.
task response
For task response: some ideas are good but still general. Try to explain more how and why each point affects poor countries in daily life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has one main idea. To get a higher score, use a few more linking words with care, such as however, as a result, and for example, to show full control.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: support your main points a little more. One short example in body paragraph 1 and 2 would make the essay stronger.
task response
For task response: you answer the question clearly and give your opinion all through the essay.
task response
For task response: you discuss both the good side and the bad side of tourism, which fits the task well.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: the essay has a clear intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion: ideas move in a clear order, and the paragraphs are well grouped.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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