Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

There is no denying the fact that diseases need to be cured by a profession. It is a commonly held belief that individuals with health complications are trying other options rather than visiting an expert,
such
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as
alternative
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medicines and treatments. Does
this
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development consider a positive or a negative?
This
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essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, most members of society prefer to use an
alternative
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way for curing diseases,
due to
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its low cost.
In other words
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, curing yourself through the use of herbs and other old ways from your mother
,
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apply
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would significantly reduce the financial expenditure on medicine drug and hospitalisation.
In addition
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,
alternative
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treatment methods are more accessible for some individuals , especially for those who live in rural areas.
For example
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, if you are living in a village, which is far from hospitals, you will depend on an
alternative
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way to cure yourself.
On the other hand
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, a considerable number of people do not actually benefit from
this
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kind of treatment, which contributes to elevating the risk of death. It is
also
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possible to say that if you had a major injury in your body,
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as an infection or inflammation, you would need to visit a real physician.
Moreover
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, using an
alternative
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way
instead
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of going to a healthcare provider would substantially increase the risk of disease transmission.
For instance
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, recent studies have shown that Somalis’ individual health has a substantial vulnerability to infection,
as a result
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of relying on
alternative
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treatments, rather than visiting a doctor. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question . On balance,
however
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, I believe that the disadvantages of
this
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development outweigh the advantages, and regardless of the circumstances, we should visit a doctor seeking treatment.

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task response
Make your main answer very clear in the introduction. Say from the start that this is a negative development.
task response
Support each main idea with a clearer reason and a more real example.
task response
Do not say 'both points of view' if the question asks for your opinion about positive or negative development.
coherence cohesion
Use topic sentences that directly match your main point in each body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Some links are good, but a few ideas jump too fast. Add short connecting lines between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Keep example sentences simple and closely tied to the point before them.
task response
You answer the question and give your opinion in the end.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
You use linking words like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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