All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

In recent years, we have witnessed that

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

health concerns

due to

Linking Words

excessive weight

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

becoming common globally, which is affecting both children and adults. In

this

Linking Words

essay, we will discuss why

this

Linking Words

is the case

Remove the comma

apply

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and

also

Linking Words

look at various ways to handle

this

Linking Words

. First of all,

this

Linking Words

is because of

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of physical activities among youth, and more options for unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

Global

Correct article usage

The global

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rise in technology has attracted youth to spend more time on mobile phones rather than going out and playing a sport.

For example

Linking Words

, nowadays, school students prefer to connect and play games online in their leisure

instead

Linking Words

of following a physical routine

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

could help them to stay fit and active.

Moreover

Linking Words

, junk

food

Use synonyms

is common among children,

although

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

outside

food

Use synonyms

is tasty,

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the fact that it is processed with unhealthy ingredients should not be ignored.

However

Linking Words

, there are numerous ways to handle

this

Linking Words

issue. First and most important is

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

promoting

healthy

Correct article usage

a healthy

show examples

lifestyle. Schools and universities should keep a mandatory class for sports, which will ensure that everyone is engaged in a daily physical activity, and playing a sport daily will

also

Linking Words

help in building muscle, which is necessary for maintaining a proper body weight.

In addition

Linking Words

, parents and

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

should encourage healthy

food

Use synonyms

habits.

For instance

Linking Words

, restaurant chains offering

high protein

Correct your spelling

high-protein

meals should be promoted, and parents should teach the benefits of

having a

Verb problem

making

show examples

better lifestyle choices.

To conclude

Linking Words

, even though

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

can help

promoting

Wrong verb form

promote

show examples

healthy

food

Use synonyms

, I believe that teachers and parents should take greater responsibility for making their

kids

Check wording

kids'

show examples

lifestyle better.

darshan223417

Mar 15, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more fully. You explain the causes well, but the solutions part needs more depth.

task response

Use more clear and direct examples to support each main idea.

task response

Some ideas are good, but a few are too general. Explain how each solution can really reduce obesity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.

coherence cohesion

Linking words are used, but some are not natural or have comma problems. Keep them simple.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are long and loose. Break them into shorter parts for better flow.

task response

You answer both the reasons and the solutions, so the task is covered.

task response

Your main ideas are easy to follow and mostly relevant to the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear paragraph plan with an introduction and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Words like First of all, Moreover, However, and To conclude help guide the reader.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

It is no longer necessary that animals should be slaughtered and made into either human foodstuffs or non-foodstuffs, such as fur and medicine. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You missed one of the most important lessons of your teacher. Write a letter to your teacher. In your letter apologize for not attending explain why you did not attend say what you will do to make up for it

Nowadays women have full-time work as same as men. And logically men should share the household equally with women. To what do you agree or disagree?