IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You are going on holiday for one week and your neighbour has agreed to take care of your house while you are away. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter explain what you would like your neighbour to do while you are away tell him / her how to contact you if there is an emergency offer to buy your neighbour a gift to say thank you

Dear Mr Fenil, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to thank you for agreeing to take care of my house
while
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 I am away for a short vacation. There are certain things which I want you to do.
Firstly
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, I have plants in my backyard, so please water them daily.
Also
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, I have stored the food for my cat, which is in the top section of the fridge. Give her food every 4 hours. As I am only away for a few days, cleaning is not required for the house.
Moreover
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, I will be available on call, so feel free to reach out to me in case you have any problems. I have left my contact details on the dining table. I am
also
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 planning on getting you a gift from my trip as a thank you for taking care of my house. So please let me know about your preferences on what kind of gift you would like to get. Hoping to see you soon. Best regards, Darshan

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task response
Task response: You answer all parts, but add one clear line about how to contact you in an emergency, like your phone number or email.
task response
Task response: Say the gift idea in a more direct way. For example, say you would like to buy a small gift to thank your neighbour.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your letter is easy to follow, but some ideas in the middle are a bit long. Use shorter lines to make each point clear.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Keep one main idea in one part. For example, house jobs in one part, emergency contact in one part, and gift in one part.
task response
Task response: You cover the house jobs well, like watering the plants and feeding the cat.
task response
Task response: The tone is polite and friendly, which is good for a letter to a neighbour.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening and a clear ending.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use words like firstly, also, and moreover to join ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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