IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Concern for the environment is growing rapidly and more and more people are c hoosing to be eco_tourists', travelling in responsible, environmentally friendly ways. as a result, the eco_tourism industry is expending. To what extent do you think it is a positive trend?

In recent years,many
people
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 believe that
the
Correct article usage
a
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 friendly
environment
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 has become more common.
While
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 many
people
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 want to be
eco_tourists
Correct your spelling
eco-tourists
, travelling alone and using friendly methods.
Therefore
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,the eco_tourism industry is become
trend
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.
This
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 essay will discuss whether
this
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trend
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 is positive or negative,and present my opinion. On the one hand,some governments are trying to create an awarness campaigns about a friendly
environment
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.
This
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 is because a healthy
environment
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 is extremely essential in society to create a healthy community.
Also
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,when
people
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travel
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 by using environmentally friendly methods,
this
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 can help to keep the animals and plants safe.
For example
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,travelling by walking,bicycle and trying to reduce the number of
cars
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 by all family
travel
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 in one car
instead
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 of three
cars
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.
Therefore
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,the government can create campaigns to aware
people
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,which is the relevant method for other
cars
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 and planes to use to
travel
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.
On the other hand
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,if
people
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 reduce the
number
Check wording
use
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 of
using
Replace the word
apply
unfriendly environmental ways to
travel
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,
this
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 can cause a large number of problems for the economy of
companies
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.
Such
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 as
,
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apply
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 airways
companies
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,car rental
companies
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,and delivery
companies
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by
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, by
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 decreasing the amount of sales and marketing.
Although
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 a healthy
environment
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 can be the main reason of unemploying
people
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, because some
people
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 live in small cities,so they cannot
travel
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 to the city centre to work.
As a result
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,they may be late if they cannot use
cars
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 or planes to
travel
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 for work.
In addition
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,some
people
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 may hate the idea of being friendly to the
environment
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,so no one can change their minds to help other
people
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 by using
friendly
Correct word order
environmentally friendly
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environment
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 methods. In conclusion,
this
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trend
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 plays an essential role in society.I believe that
people
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 and the government can follow
this
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trend
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 to create a friendly
environmentally
Punctuation problem
, environmentally
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community
Correct word choice
friendly community
show examples
.
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Whereas there
Correct word choice
There
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 are some minor problems that may happen to some
companies
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 if
people
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 follow
this
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trend
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.So I believe that
this
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trend
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 can be positive

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say early if you think this trend is mostly good, bad, or both.
task response
Keep your main idea the same all through the essay. Do not say both sides and then give a weak final view.
task response
Use examples that fit eco-tourism better. Your example about walking and one family car is okay, but add one clear travel example like staying in green hotels or not harming wild animals.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph have one clear main idea. Now some points are mixed and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Words like 'therefore', 'also', and 'whereas' should match the idea before and after.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph order. First explain why eco-tourism is good, then explain limits, then give a clear final answer.
task response
You answered the topic and talked about both good and bad sides.
task response
You gave at least one real example to support your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used some linking words to join ideas.
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