IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that
professionals
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such
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 as doctors and engineers should be required to
work
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 in the
home
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country
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 where they completed their training.
However
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, others argue that individuals should be free to
work
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 abroad.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe
professionals
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 should have the freedom to
work
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 in another
country
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 for personal and professional growth. On the one hand, requiring
professionals
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 to
work
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 in their
home
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country
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 can help address the problem of brain drain. Many developing countries invest significant resources in educating doctors,
engines
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engineers
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, and other specialists. If these
professionals
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 leave immediately after graduation, the
country
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 may face a shortage of skilled workers.
For example
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, hospitals and infrastructure projects rely heavily on trained experts to function effectively.
Therefore
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, keeping these
professionals
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 in their
home
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country
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 can ensure that citizens receive adequate services and that national development continues.
On the other hand
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, allowing
professionals
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 to
work
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 abroad provides important opportunities for personal and professional growth. In many developed countries, specialists can access advanced technology, better research facilities, and higher salaries. These experiences can help them develop new skills and gain international perspectives. In some cases,
professionals
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 may even return to their
home
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country
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 later with valuable knowledge that can benefit local industries and institutions. In conclusion,
although
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 requiring
professionals
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 to remain in their
home
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country
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 may help prevent skill shortages and support national development, individuals should ultimately have the freedom to
work
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 abroad. Gaining international experience can contribute to personal growth and may
also
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 benefit their
home
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country
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 if they return with valuable knowledge and expertise.

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task response
Write a little more about the second view. Now the first view has more support than the other side.
task response
Add one more clear example for working abroad. This will make your ideas stronger.
task response
Your opinion is clear, but you can explain it more in the body, not only in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow. To make it better, link ideas inside each paragraph more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Some points are a bit general. Add one more supporting sentence after each main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with small word choice problems like 'engines' instead of 'engineers'. This can make meaning less clear.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both clear and complete.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear 4-paragraph structure.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
What to do next:
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