IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Nowadays
internet
Use synonyms
 has become
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 popular medium to spread
information
Use synonyms
 everywhere.
Due to
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
, some people believe that newspapers are becoming less common. I firmly agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
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 paragraphs will have supporting reasons and relevant examples from my own experiences.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, printing newspapers
everyday
Rephrase
every day
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 is causing huge damage to the
enviornment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Recent
Correct article usage
A recent
show examples
 study in Japan shows that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 certain area has produced less paper waste where
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is easily
acsessible
Correct your spelling
accessible
,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
locations where it is not available. Which eventually
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to less pollution and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
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enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 people started to be more concerned about nature than they were before
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
was
Verb problem
became
show examples
 famous.
Moreoever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, with
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
,
spreading
Correct article usage
the spreading
show examples
 of
information
Use synonyms
 becomes very fast and
cost friendly
Correct your spelling
cost-friendly
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in remote places, people used to travel to big cities to get general
information
Use synonyms
 or newspapers,
are
Correct word choice
but are
show examples
 now able to access it using their phones. What is more, schools in those remote areas are using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to educate children.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
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 it made everyone more educated as
information
Use synonyms
 is easily and quickly accessible.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is more
nature friendly
Correct your spelling
nature-friendly
 than papers and it is accessible from everywhere on earth. Based on advanatges of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Punctuation problem
internet,
show examples
 it is natural
to conclude
Linking Words
 that it has made newspaper unpopuler and it is now
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 older
menthod
Correct your spelling
method
 of consuming
information
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Do not start too many lines with the same link word.
task response
Support each main point with one clear example and explain it more.
task response
Answer the question in a more full way by showing why you agree and also why some people may still read papers.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some parts are hard to follow because the grammar breaks the flow.
task response
You clearly say your opinion in the first part.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
task response
You give examples about remote places and the environment.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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