Some people state arts courses such painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Art is an innate ability that some
poses
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possess
show examples
. It has been opined that craft
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subject
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subjects
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should not be
the
Correct article usage
apply
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part of
curriculum
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the curriculum
show examples
in secondary schools. In
this
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essay, I will share my disagreement with the notion and elucidate reasons in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, these
subjects
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help the student to polish their
talent
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. To expound, some pupils
poses
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possess
show examples
a unique
talent
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, which they
persue
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pursue
as a profession in the
furture
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future
. If learners get
opportunity
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the opportunity
show examples
to learn more about these topics during their academic journey, they will be able to polish and enhance their skills.
For instance
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,
There
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there
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are many great
artist
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artists
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who are famous for their
art work
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artwork
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such
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, such
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as paintings made by famous artist are the
point
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main
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attraction in some galleries. Altough, disapprance of
such
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subject
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subjects
show examples
can allow
students
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to invest their time in other areas
such
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as science and
mathemetics
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mathematics
Thus
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, aforemention reason vividly substantiates that these
course
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courses
show examples
are important to keep as a part of
education
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as
it
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they
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help
students
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to
persue
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pursue
as a career. To
solidfy
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solidify
my argument, it is crucial to provide holistic
education
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to learners. To expound, all the
subjects
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have their own value
and
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, and
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it is
neccessary
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necessary
that
learner
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learners
show examples
get knowledge on all. If
curriculum
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the curriculum
show examples
do
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does
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not include
such
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subjects
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,
students
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who have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in these
subjects
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would not be able
recognize
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to recognise
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their
talent
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.
For example
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, if a student is good
in
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at
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drawing and there is no
such
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subject
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exist
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apply
show examples
in
curriculum
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the curriculum
show examples
, he/she will never know about her strengh.
On the contrary
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,
students
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will have time to focus on other
subject
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and
this
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will help them to lessen
burden
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their burden
show examples
.
Hence
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, above mention reason clearly justifies that holistic
education
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is crucial to identify one's
strenths
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strengths
.
To conclude
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, it is argued that art
subjects
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should not be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
part of secondary school
education
Use synonyms
. These
subjects
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help
students
Use synonyms
to polish their
talent
Use synonyms
and persue as a career in the future.
Moreover
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, they
also
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help
leaners
Use the right word
learners
show examples
to
recoginize
Correct your spelling
recognise
their
strenghts
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strengths
and get
holistic
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a holistic
show examples
education
Use synonyms
. I share my view on disagreement with the notion.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first paragraph. Say in a direct way that you disagree.
task response
Give one or two more clear examples. Your example about famous artists is too general.
task response
Explain your ideas more fully. Some points are repeated and not fully developed.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph. This will make your plan easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smoother way. Some sentences start with linking words, but the flow is still weak.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. Do not add the other side unless you explain why your side is stronger.
task response
You answer the question and you give a clear side.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Most ideas stay on the topic of art in school.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • arts
  • courses
  • painting
  • drawing
  • compulsory
  • high school
  • students
  • agree
  • disagree
  • express
  • creativity
  • development
  • skills
  • critical thinking
  • analyze
  • work
  • subjects
  • balance
  • stress
  • interested
  • communication
  • ideas
  • visually
  • interested
  • elective
  • requirement
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