IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

children should always follow their parents' advice. to what extent to do you agree or disagree with this statement?

While
Linking Words
 some opined that
offsprings
Check wording
offspring
show examples
 must always take their
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 opinion all the time, others disagree with it. I share my view with whole-hearted agreement.
Firstly
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, it will help
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 population to make
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 decision.
Parents
Use synonyms
 always want their children to choose
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 path. They will never misguide
their
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
them.
Parents
Use synonyms
 are their comfort zone
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 whom they can share their feelings openly without any hesitation.
For instance
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,
offsprings
Check wording
offspring
show examples
 can easily talk to
parents
Use synonyms
 about their choice of career.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they can get accurate validation about decision. It is
more safe
Replace the word
safer
 for
offpsrings
Correct your spelling
offspring
 to take advice from their
parents
Use synonyms
.
Parents
Use synonyms
already
Verb problem
have already
show examples
 gone through that phase of life
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they have
first hand
Correct your spelling
first-hand
 experience. They can give valid and unbiased suggestions from their past experience.
For example
Linking Words
,
Parents
Use synonyms
 who have unpleasant
experience
Check wording
experiences
show examples
 with certain people
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can suggest
their
Correct word choice
that their
show examples
 young ones
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
avoid contact.
However
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, taking
suggestion
Check wording
suggestions
show examples
 from
parents
Use synonyms
 all the time can result in low self-confidence, negative
self image
Correct your spelling
self-image
 and lack of autonomy.
To conclude
Linking Words
, many believe that children should seek help from their
parents
Use synonyms
 in making decisions. I completely agree with the notion.

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task response
Answer all parts of the task more fully. You say you agree, but you do not explain how much and why in enough depth.
task response
Add one clear main idea in each body part and explain it more. Some ideas are short and not fully developed.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. Your examples are relevant, but they are quite general.
task response
Make your position fully clear from start to end. One line says some people disagree, but your own view should stay more direct all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Group ideas in a more clear way. Each paragraph should have one main point and then support.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas more smoothly. Some sentences feel separate, not well joined.
coherence and cohesion
Use pronouns and small linking words carefully. A few lines are hard to follow because of word choice.
coherence and cohesion
Develop the counter idea more or remove it. The 'however' part is too short and feels sudden.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion: you agree.
task response
You include examples about career choice and life experience, which help support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear beginning, body, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Basic paragraphing is used, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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