Surveillance cameras in banks, officers, shops and streets have been very successful in reducing crime the workplace and in public, but they are also a tool for their users to spy on people private business-What problems do the use of surveillance cameras create? Is there any solution?

Monitoring
cameras
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in public places, banks, offices, and shops are effective tools for reducing crime.
However
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, they are
also
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a tool for their users to violate privacy and exploit personal data by intruding on people’s private lives. To address
this
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issue, it is crucial to provide strict laws with regard to spy
cameras
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. Security
cameras
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lead to a breach of private life. People can feel anxiety and restricted even if they are being watched by someone they know.
For example
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, if children are closely monitored by their mother, they may make more mistakes
due to
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nervousness. And, workers may
also
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feel stressed if their every action is under surveillance.
Additionally
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, CCTV can
also
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result in unauthorised use of information. Recorded footage can be used unethically for commercial gain.
For instance
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, celebrities’ personal information is published by paparazzi using hidden
cameras
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for their own benefit. Implementing clear regulations and policies by the government can be a good approach
for
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to
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these problems. Authorities should create legislation on where safety
cameras
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can be placed, who can access record, and how
it
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they
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can be used.
For example
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,
cameras
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should be placed only where security is essential ,
such
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as in crowded traffic areas, not in private areas like restrooms.
Moreover
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, only administrations can handle and control these observation systems to limit access. In conclusion, surveillance
cameras
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in banks, offices,shops, and on streets have been very useful in dealing with crimes in public areas. At the same time, they can
also
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be used to invade personal space and track background information for business profit. These problems can be solved by enforcing strict discipline by the government.

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task response
Answer both questions more directly in each body part. Make the problem and the solution very clear.
task response
Add one more clear problem. This will make your answer feel more full and strong.
task response
Your ideas are good, but some examples are not fully linked to public cameras. Use examples that fit the topic more closely.
coherence and cohesion
Put one clear main idea in each paragraph, then explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, such as 'first', 'also', 'as a result', and 'to solve this'.
coherence and cohesion
Check small grammar and word choice issues because they can make the flow less smooth.
task response
You answered both parts of the question: problems and solution.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The main ideas are easy to follow in most parts.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...
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