IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, hould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 of society think that doctors, engineers and other professionals should
work
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 only in
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country
Correct article usage
the country
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 where they did their
study
Check wording
studies
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. Other
people
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 think that
work
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 can be free in another
country
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 if they want. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
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both views
,
Punctuation problem
. In
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in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 I believe that
people
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 can have labour
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 any
country
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 if they wish. On the one hand, some
people
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 believe that
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
 should
work
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 only in the
country
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 where they
didi
Correct your spelling
did
 their training. There are several
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reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 why
might
Correct word order
this might
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this
Linking Words
 be the case. The first one is mentality and the peculiarity of each
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people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
. Everybody
know
Correct subject-verb agreement
knows
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 that in every
country
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people
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 have some difference son themselves. Methods that are effective in one
country
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 may not be applicable to
people
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 in another. The next
reason
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 that
stain
Wrong verb form
studying
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 in
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country
Correct article usage
a country
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 where
people
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 study can help improve the national economy.
Linking Words
Therefore
Punctuation problem
Therefore,
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 the
countries
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 should be interested in students strong and working in the same
countries
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
people
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 believe that professionals should be free to
work
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 in any
country
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. The
firs
Correct your spelling
first
reason
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 is
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of education. Considerable amount of
countries
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 have wrong or too expensive education
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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people
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 need
migrate
Verb problem
to migrate
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for
Change preposition
to
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 gain good learning.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
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reason
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 is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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 of job opportunities in the
country
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 where
people
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studying
Verb problem
are studying
show examples
.
People
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 are obliged to travel abroad for a good job. In my opinion, it is normal to study and
work
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 in different
countries
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,
thus
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 I fully support the second opinion. On balance,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
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 think that professionals should stay in their home
country
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, I believe that they should be free to
work
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 abroad.
This
Linking Words
 can provide better career opportunities and help them develop new skills.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both views, but some ideas are too short.
task response
Give one clear reason for your own view and explain it more.
task response
Use one simple real example to support a main point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Put ideas in a more natural order. Some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like 'First', 'Also', 'However', and 'Therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Check each sentence. Some words are in the wrong place, and this breaks the flow.
task response
You discuss both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are clear and easy to see.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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