IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is better to save money than to spend it. How far do you agree with this statement? Is saving more important than spending in today’s world? Give reasons for your answer, and provide ideas and examples from your own experience.

Saving
money
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 is important, especially now that everything is expensive because of inflation. In
this
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 essay, I will give my reasons why we should do
this
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.
To begin
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 with, we should understand the importance of
money
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. In
this
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 era, even the basic needs are all pricey.
Therefore
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, a
lot
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 of people are struggling on a day-to-day basis.
Furthermore
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, parents should teach their children how to save starting at an early age.
For instance
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, if a child knows how to be thrifty and save, they can use it in other important moments, like their future.
Also
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, the child will know how to be responsible on their own.
However
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, saving too much is not good either; it should be balanced
while
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 enjoying life. If saving a
lot
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 of
money
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 makes a person sick and they can’t buy the things she/he needed, it can cause anxiety and health problems.
For example
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, saving a
lot
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 and not buying the right foods that your body needs, definitely, your health will decline.
Hence
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, it will end up paying a larger amount for medical bills than you expected.
To conclude
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, we should save a
lot
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 of
money
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 for our future so we can have a good and happy life.
Likewise
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, if we are prepared and we know we have savings, that
money
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 will help us to live the life that we want. But everything should always be limited and balanced, even just for a little amount you can spend if it's your happiness and a reward for all of your hard work, that you’re doing today.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly. Say how far you agree, then compare saving and spending in today’s world.
task response
Give one or two more clear ideas about why spending can also be important, for example for health, study, or daily life.
task response
Use more direct examples. Your example about food is good, but add one real life case from your own life.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this plan in future essays.
coherence cohesion
Some links are good, like 'To begin with' and 'However', but some ideas need smoother flow between sentences.
coherence cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only, then explain it and give one example.
task response
You answer the topic and stay on the same main idea through the essay.
task response
You give a balanced view, not only one side. This helps your answer feel thoughtful.
coherence cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay feels complete.
coherence cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the order of ideas is mostly clear.
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