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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In the
last
Linking Words
 several decades influx of
students
Use synonyms
 to overseas has become very common and a
lifestyle changing
Correct your spelling
lifestyle-changing
 trend
rather
Punctuation problem
, rather
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 than it was earlier, when
people
Use synonyms
 could afford
education
Use synonyms
 only in their own state.
While
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that its drawbacks prevail over benefits, others, including me, believe that it is much more profitable because of
better
Correct article usage
the better
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 quality of
education
Use synonyms
 and opportunities for personal development. On the one hand,
students
Use synonyms
' migration to foreign countries may lead to financial difficulties and brain drain.
Initially
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, moving abroad is always challenging as it requires a lot of expenses. Especially, they are faced with high costs for , first of all, basic needs
such
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 as accommodation, food and transportation. Another one is tuition fees that are much
more high-priced
Replace the word
higher-priced
.
For example
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,
education
Use synonyms
 in State
universities
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 in Uzbekistan costs at least $700 and at most $1600 per year. In comparison, in the
USA
Punctuation problem
USA,
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this
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 is really high, starting with $3000 and reaching $6000 yearly.
This
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 is about expenditures only for
education
Use synonyms
 itself
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 living costs make the cost of living abroad even higher.
Moreover
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, as
plenty of
Correct determiner usage
many
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 emigrated
students
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 tend to settle down in foreign countries because of better educational, working and
life
Use synonyms
 conditions,
and
Correct word choice
apply
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it may cause drawbacks for the home country's economy.
As a consequence
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, there
happens
Verb problem
is
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 brain drain of skilled workforce so that underdeveloped countries do not develop at all.
On the other hand
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, it is beneficial for
students
Use synonyms
 thanks to better quality of
education
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 and opportunities for personal development. First and foremost, it is essential that
people
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 have a chance to choose top
universities
Use synonyms
 to study in because of accessibility to high-ranked
universities
Use synonyms
 that provide excellent facilities for
education
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, a great deal of Western
universities
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 are in the list of the best 100
universities
Use synonyms
 all around the world, and most
students
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 who succeed in a lot of fields are graduates of these
universities
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, it is
fact
Correct article usage
a fact
show examples
 that they are able to provide more useful knowledge.
Additionally
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, it is true that it can cost a fortune,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 we should not ignore scholarship programs which
also
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 might be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fully funded to facilitate
students
Use synonyms
' overseas
life
Use synonyms
. Another positive influence is that studying abroad helps expats with self-development. Once they live abroad, they have a tendency to step out of their comfort zone by learning new languages,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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,
integrating
Correct word choice
and integrating
show examples
 into the community to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
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friends and others. As an outcome, they overcome obstacles and become independent, well-rounded, gain cultural awareness and learn to solve problems solely to be prepared for
mature
Correct article usage
a mature
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life
Use synonyms
. Take
Punctuation problem
, as
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as an
Change preposition
for
show examples
 example, bloggers, especially Anna Popova, who shows how to tackle issues with which she encounters during her
education
Use synonyms
 in London on her blog,
as well as
Linking Words
 gives a lot of useful and valuable information about culture to ease
people
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's
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 in case they
will
Wrong verb form
apply
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visit the UK as well.
To conclude
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,
although
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 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that international
education
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 cons outweigh pros
due to
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 financial matters and brain drain, I think
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the quality of
education
Use synonyms
 and self-development make its benifits grater.

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task response
Answer both sides in a more even way. You explain the good side more than the bad side.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea very clear at the start of each body paragraph.
task response
Use simpler and clearer examples. Some examples feel too long or not fully clear.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'however', and 'as a result' in a careful way.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence clearly supports the main point of the paragraph.
task response
Develop ideas with clear reasons, then one short example.
task response
You answer the question and discuss both advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your opinion is clear in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most paragraphs stay on one main topic.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural awareness
  • adaptability
  • academic opportunities
  • specialized programs
  • prestigious courses
  • language proficiency
  • professional network
  • globalized job market
  • personal development
  • independence
  • life skills
What to do next:
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