IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

📝 Question: Some people think that studying abroad is better for students, while others believe studying in their home country is more beneficial. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
students
Use synonyms
 think
is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
show examples
 better to
study
Use synonyms
 abroad,
while
Linking Words
 others believe
is
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have many difficulties. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss both views and
say
Verb problem
express
show examples
 my opinion. On the one hand,
students
Use synonyms
 who
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
 to
study
Use synonyms
 abroad
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
need
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial support because they have to get an apartment near
to
Change preposition
the
show examples
 college.
Also
Linking Words
, they should
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
allocate a budget for food and transportation.
Besides
Linking Words
, they should
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
create a
saving
Replace the word
savings
 account for an emergency situation. Because of that, many
students
Use synonyms
star
Use the right word
start
show examples
 to work in part-time jobs to afford living expenses.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 experience will force them to become independent. They have to learn how to manage their budget.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they will deal with problems
life
Change preposition
in life
show examples
 and
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 society by themselves
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 a result of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they become more flexible
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may raise the opportunity of success.
For example
Linking Words
, research proves that
students
Use synonyms
 who
study
Use synonyms
 abroad
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 probability to achieve their goals. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 far away
than
Change preposition
from one's
show examples
 hometown has disadvantages
such
Linking Words
 as financial problems and advantages like strength their personality.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. Say more about why home country study is good, not only why study abroad is hard.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way in the body, not only in the end.
task response
Use one clear example with real detail. Your example is too general.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph about one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like on the one hand, on the other hand, also, for example, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar, because some parts are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You discuss both views, so you answer the main task.
task response
Some ideas are relevant, like cost, work, and independence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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