IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
Linking Words
 period of time, master
Use synonyms
career
Check wording
careers
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and engineers
become
Verb problem
have become
show examples
 popular
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays
some
Punctuation problem
. Some
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 believe that these
occupation
Fix the agreement mistake
occupations
show examples
 should be working on venue
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 they are
training
Wrong verb form
trained
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 some groups of
people
Use synonyms
  
decided
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 that
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 these
Use synonyms
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
 can have
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 in any
place
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they want
to do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
believe
Replace the word
belief
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who think
professionals
Punctuation problem
professionals,
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 which was doctors and
engineers
Punctuation problem
engineers,
show examples
 have to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
place
Use synonyms
they
Rephrase
where they
show examples
 are training from
this
Linking Words
opinion
Punctuation problem
opinion,
show examples
can discuss two main point
Correct word order
two main points can be discussed
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if they have an experiences in
training
Correct article usage
a training
show examples
Use synonyms
place
Punctuation problem
place,
show examples
 they will not feel excited when they
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
place
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, these
career
Use synonyms
 have to training before real
working
Replace the word
work,
 and if they
training
Wrong verb form
are trained
show examples
 in some
place
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
 they will be more familiar
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 venue
Punctuation problem
. When
show examples
then
Linking Words
 when they
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
Use synonyms
place
Punctuation problem
place,
show examples
 they will
easier to adapt with environtment
Correct word order
find it easier to adapt to the environment
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, they will known
work
Use synonyms
 that which
work
Use synonyms
 they have to do in
this
Linking Words
career
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. While
show examples
while
Linking Words
 they are
working
Punctuation problem
working,
show examples
 they will be a master because they have
an experiences
Check wording
experience
show examples
 before.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, for
group
Correct article usage
a group
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
show examples
 should be free from these
Use synonyms
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
 to choose their own
place
Use synonyms
 for working. First of all, some
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
career
Use synonyms
 do not want to stay working in the same
place
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 training.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
career
Use synonyms
 some time faces situation which not good
at
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they want to change to different places.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
profession
Use synonyms
 should have their own decision to be freedom to choose
Use synonyms
place
Correct article usage
a place
show examples
 and not have
people
Use synonyms
 reject them. 
To conclude
Linking Words
, it have both opinion which believe that
career
Use synonyms
 doctors and engineers have to
work
Use synonyms
 in the sme
place
Use synonyms
training
Punctuation problem
training,
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think
this
Linking Words
profession
Use synonyms
 should have their own decision.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
work
Use synonyms
 in the same
place
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
where
show examples
 they are
traning
Correct your spelling
training
 will make them more familiar and can
easier to
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
adapt
to
Rephrase
more easily to
show examples
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
Correct word choice
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 they will
known
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects they have to do.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if they change
Use synonyms
place
Check wording
places
show examples
 for working some
people
Use synonyms
 will be
more
Rephrase
apply
show examples
happier because they
faces
Correct subject-verb agreement
face
show examples
 some struggle during working and they do not enjoyable.

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task response
Write a clearer answer to both sides and your own view. Your view is there, but it is not strong and clear.
task response
Use main ideas that are easy to follow. Some points are hard to understand because the meaning is not clear.
task response
Give more specific examples. Your example is very general, so it does not fully support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph follow one simple plan: main idea, explain it, then give an example.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, such as 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', 'for example', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some sentences do not connect well, so the reader may get lost.
task response
You discuss both views, which is important for this task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples and reasons to support your ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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