IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Research says more and more business training and business meeting are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Although
Linking Words
 the online
business
Use synonyms
 meeting and
business
Use synonyms
 training
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
 and flexibibility to a rigid people, it can cause misunderstandings and
also
Linking Words
 chaos for individuals.
This
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 essay will demonstrate how virtual
meeting
Check wording
meetings
show examples
 can be
save-effectiveness
Replace the word
more effective
 for
participations
Replace the word
participants
 but will show that it can
also
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 lead to
thechnical
Correct your spelling
technical
, social and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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engagement challenges.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem is a significant one,
this
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 essay argues that the advantages of remote
business
Use synonyms
meeting
Check wording
meetings
show examples
 and training outweigh the disadvantages. One of the main advantages is the accessible and convenient atmosphere
the
Correct article usage
that
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 virtual
business
Use synonyms
meeting
Check wording
meetings
show examples
 and training create for local people. The web conference
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
Use synonyms
business
Correct article usage
a business
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 meeting and
training
Punctuation problem
training,
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 contributes to
save
Wrong verb form
saving
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 money and
also
Linking Words
 time for the residents.
For example
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people can save their money from travel, venue rentals and
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also
Rephrase
apply
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accommodation costs.
Therefore
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, it
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 expenses without compromising the ability to communicate. The online
business
Use synonyms
 training and meeting to these communities has
also
Linking Words
 had a massive impact on the increased participations which are growing year on year, largerly
due to
Linking Words
 the virtual
business
Use synonyms
 meeting or
business
Use synonyms
 training.
However
Linking Words
, an increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
web
meeting
Check wording
meetings
show examples
 or training can lead to some worrying issues. One of the most serious of these is a technical
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
 associated with the online meeting or training.
This
Linking Words
 problem may include poor internet connections, software glitches, and
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also
Rephrase
apply
show examples
hardware limitations
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 can disrupt communication, especially in regions with limited connectivity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it may cause
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distraction and engagement issues.
In other words
Linking Words
, participants may
multitasks
Replace the word
multitask
 or face
interruption
Check wording
interruptions
show examples
 at home, reducing engagement and attention during the meeting. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 mass virtual
business
Use synonyms
meeting
Check wording
meetings
show examples
 and training can result in a rise in technical problems, it greatly improves the lives of most local participants
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as contributing significantly to the cost-effectiveness and accessibility atmosphere.
Hence
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, the positive effects of the web conferences
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
business
Use synonyms
meeting
Check wording
meetings
show examples
 or training
definitely
Punctuation problem
, definitely
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 outweigh the drawbacks

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points in each body paragraph.
task response
Give one or two more clear and real examples to support your ideas.
task response
Develop each main idea a bit more. Some points are too general and need a fuller explanation.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, but some sentences are hard to follow because of word choice and grammar.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. Some links are repeated too much, like 'also' and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that every sentence supports it.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task response
You discuss both advantages and disadvantages, so you answer all parts of the question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion matches the introduction and finishes the essay well.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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