IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many parents believe that beating or spanking is a good way to discipline their children. To what extent do you agree? Write an essay of about 250-350 words.

These days
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children's
Punctuation problem
, children's
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 upbringing
become
Verb problem
has become
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 one of the controversial issues.
Older
Correct article usage
The older
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 generation
are the belief of
Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
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 that the fastest way to
discipline
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children
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 is to hit them.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue why physical punishment is not the best method of
discipline
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, as it can harm
children
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 emotionally and damage their relationships with their
parents
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. Supporters of smacking believe it is a quick and effective way to correct bad
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
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. They argue that when
children
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 misbehave, a light smack can make
.
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a difference.
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 them realize their mistake and prevent it from happening again.
For example
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,
parents
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 might slap a child's hand if they try to touch a sharp or hot object, seeing it as a form of protection.
Therefore
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, many
parents
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 view smacking as a simple and immediate form of
discipline
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.
However
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, I believe that smacking is not the right way to
discipline
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 kids. Physical punishment may stop bad
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 temporarily, but it teaches fear rather than understanding.
For instance
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, studies have shown that
children
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 who are often smacked may become aggressive, anxious, or even emotionally distant from their
parents
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.
Instead
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, positive methods
such
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 as calm communication, setting limits, and rewarding good
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behavior
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behaviour
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 promote long-term
discipline
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 and respect.
This
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 essay argued that
although
Linking Words
 smacking may lead to quick obedience, it has harmful effects on
children
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's emotions and
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In my opinion, I completely disagree that smacking is the best form of
discipline
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, as teaching
children
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 with patience, communication, and understanding leads to more lasting and positive results. These approaches not only guide
children
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 to make better choices
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 help them to grow into confident individuals.

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task response
Make your first line more clear. Write: 'Children's upbringing has become a controversial issue.'
task response
Show your opinion in a more direct way in the introduction, for example: 'I completely disagree with this view.'
task response
Add one more clear example in the body to make your ideas stronger.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words a bit more carefully. Some parts are clear, but a few lines feel sudden.
coherence cohesion
Check small grammar errors because they can make the meaning less clear.
coherence cohesion
In the second body paragraph, explain a little more how good methods work in real life.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
Your essay stays on the main topic from start to end.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion matches your main idea well.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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