There is a disagreement on the impact of increased business and cultural contact between countries on a country’s identity. What is your opinion?

I think increased business and cultural
contact
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between countries has both positive and negative effects, but it does not destroy a country’s identity. On the one hand,
contact
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between countries helps
people
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learn new things.
For example
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,
people
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can try new food, music, and
traditions
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.
This
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makes life more interesting and helps
people
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understand other cultures better.
Also
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, business
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contact
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contacts
show examples
can improve the economy and create new jobs.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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think that too much foreign influence can change local
traditions
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.
For example
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, young
people
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may prefer foreign music or clothes
instead
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of their own culture.
This
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can make some
traditions
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less popular.
However
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, I believe that a country’s identity is strong and cannot disappear easily.
People
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still keep their language, history, and important
traditions
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. They can accept new ideas and still remember their culture. In conclusion, international
contact
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brings many benefits and some challenges, but it does not destroy national identity. It can help countries grow
while
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still keeping their
traditions
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.

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task response
Task response: Your answer is clear and you give your opinion. To get a higher score, add one more main idea and explain it more.
task response
Task response: Your examples are relevant, but they are quite general. Use one more specific example to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. This is good. To improve, make the link between ideas smoother with a few more clear linking words.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each paragraph has one main point, but some points need more support. Add one or two extra sentences to develop each idea.
task response
Task response: You answer the question and give a clear opinion from the start.
task response
Task response: Your ideas stay on topic in all paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay is easy to follow because the order of ideas is logical.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You have a clear conclusion that repeats your main view well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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