IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some parts of the world people try to find out one's own family history. Why do people do this? Do you think it is a positive or negative? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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People in my country try to investigating one's ancestry , and
this
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 trend is becoming popular nowadays
,
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.
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 There are several reasons for
this
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 trend. I
belive
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believe
 its positive outweighs drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss my own perspectives There are two main reasons why
individuals
Use synonyms
 delve into their genealogical backgrounds. First and foremost is the human desire to understand one's roots and cultural identity. In today's highly globalised and mobile world, many people feel disconnected from their heritage. By tracing their family tree, they can discover where their ancestors came from, which helps to foster a deeper sense of belonging.
Secondly
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, finding out about family
history
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 has significant benefits, particularly regarding health. Knowing the medical
history
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 of previous generations allows
individuals
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 to identify hereditary diseases,
such
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 as diabetes or certain types of cancer, to which they may have a genetic predisposition . To my understanding,
this
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 growing interest in ancestry is overwhelmingly positive. Psychologically, discovering a connection to the past can give
individuals
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 a source of pride and a stronger foundation for their personal identity.
For instance
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, knowing that one's ancestors overcame significant historical hardships can inspire resilience in the present generation.
Furthermore
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, from a medical standpoint, the ability to anticipate health issues is life-saving. If a person discovers a family
history
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 of heart disease through their research, they can make informed lifestyle changes or seek early medical screenings, effectively mitigating the risks. In conclusion, the drive to research family
history
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 stems from a quest for personal identity and the need for medical awareness. I consider
this
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 to be a highly positive trend, as it not only enriches
individuals
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 emotionally by connecting them to their heritage but
also
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 equips them with valuable knowledge to protect their future well-being.

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task response
Answer both questions in a more direct way in the first and second body parts.
task response
Add one more clear example from real life or your own life to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Be careful with small grammar mistakes in the introduction because they can make your main idea less clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully. For example, after a comma, some parts feel too long.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, and this helps the reader follow your essay easily.
task response
You clearly explain why people want to know their family past.
task response
You give a clear opinion that this is a positive trend.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas move in a logical order from reasons to your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • lineage
  • ancestry
  • descendants
  • heritage
  • genealogy
  • forebears
  • family tree
  • genetic predisposition
  • legacy
  • inheritance
  • cultural roots
  • societal changes
  • historical records
  • archival research
  • DNA testing
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