IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some peple think that adverts control what we purchase, while others think they are useful sources of information of products. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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In the era of information, advertising exists in every aspect of our daily life.
This
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 leads to an argument over whether it manipulates our buying decisions or provides helpful knowledge about goods.
This
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 essay discusses both sides of
this
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 argument and
then
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 I will give my own perspective. On the one hand, many people believe that adverts encourage unnecessary spending. First of all, a lot of advertisements offer products or services that are not really necessary for our lives. Most consumers spend their money just because of the image of power, success and glamour associated with the items, not because of the true value of their usages.
For instance
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, many high fashion brands offer an expensive price for an item with only a collective purpose.
In addition
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, there are many audiences that can be easily influenced by commercials,
such
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 as children or teenagers.
As a result
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, they may prefer their parents to buy certain items.
On the other hand
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,
it is clear that
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 advertisements
also
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 help to provide some knowledge on the products or services.
Firstly
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, commercials support buyers in discovering new promotions or bargains for goods. To illustrate, most e-commerce platforms nowadays always inform their users every time there is a new bargain,
this
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 helps consumers never miss an opportunity to buy things at a reasonable price.
Secondly
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,
this
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 will save people a lot of time to learn about new goods if they do not have time to shop around.
Moreover
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, customers can easily find out about some information like environmental impact or the original company of the products. In conclusion, it can be seen that both sides have their merits. In my opinion, I suppose that even though adverts can provide information for buyers, their ultimate aim is still to persuade people to buy things and
as a result
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, manipulate our purchasing behaviour.

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear and unique main idea. Occasionally, ideas seemed to blend together, which could confuse the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on maintaining a seamless flow between paragraphs. Occasionally, the transitions felt slightly forced. Using varied linking words can help improve this.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction, setting out the topic and the writer’s intent to discuss both views and provide an opinion.
logical structure
Each body paragraph is structured logically, with a clear theme and supporting examples.
relevant specific examples
Relevant examples are used, such as the mention of high fashion brands and e-commerce platforms, which help substantiate the points made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer purchasing decisions
  • persuasive techniques
  • emotional appeals
  • celebrity endorsements
  • eye-catching visuals
  • impulsive buying
  • prioritization of wants over needs
  • valuable information
  • innovations
  • special offers
  • informed purchasing decisions
  • marketing campaigns
  • raise awareness
  • niche products
  • lesser-known brands
  • consumer behavior
  • consumer education
  • critically assess
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