Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

some

Fix capitalization

Some

show examples

individuals say three

catagories

Correct your spelling

categories

music

Use synonyms

art

Use synonyms

and

drama

Use synonyms

are as needed as other

school

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

, especially at elementry level.

This

Linking Words

essay strongly agrees with the

statment

Correct your spelling

statement

. Those three

subjects

Use synonyms

help with

education

Correct article usage

the education

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

child

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

its

Correct pronoun usage

it's

show examples

beneficial for a

child

Use synonyms

to be entertained.

Firstly

Linking Words

and foremost,

music

Use synonyms

is great for a

child

Use synonyms

's development in

backgrounds

Check wording

areas

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

languages. They could effortlessly catch up a language by listening or

trainning

Correct your spelling

training

Linking Words

Such as,

Correct word choice

Children

show examples

children

Use synonyms

all around the world listen to "Baby shark" which is an English song.

In addition

Linking Words

Art

Use synonyms

has a significant impact on young generations. Every

child

Use synonyms

enjoys

manifictaing

Correct your spelling

manifesting

art

Use synonyms

and creating an easy piece that describes them.

As well as

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

drama

Use synonyms

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

children

Use synonyms

to express their feelings

eaisly

Correct your spelling

easily

and confess what's inside of them

out of

Change preposition

through

show examples

acting and

preforming

Correct your spelling

performing

Secondly

Linking Words

, Entertainment has a strong impact on younger levels. They would prefer to sing, act and listen to

music

Use synonyms

rather than just

Wrong verb form

apply

show examples

sit

Change preposition

show examples

a chair and learn

diffrent

Correct your spelling

different

subjects

Use synonyms

Besides

Linking Words

, they get to communicate and enjoy their time with other

children

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, Rowad Alkhaeej

School

Use synonyms

helped a unable-to speak kid to learn sign language to communicate with other

children

Use synonyms

drama

Use synonyms

classes. Which is

such

Linking Words

a fruitful step from the

school

Use synonyms

To conclude

Linking Words

, I

breifly

Correct your spelling

briefly

believe teaching

children

Use synonyms

music

Use synonyms

art

Use synonyms

and

drama

Use synonyms

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

as strongly important as other

school

Use synonyms

subjects

Use synonyms

. They help with developing a

child

Use synonyms

's character. And, truly

elimates bordem

Correct your spelling

eliminates boredom

out of their

school

Use synonyms

day.

jmjk543

Mar 30, 2026

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coherence cohesion

Write a clearer main idea at the start of each body paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts feel sudden or not smooth.

task achievement

Add one clear example for each main point and explain how it supports your view.

task achievement

Develop your ideas more fully. Some points are good, but they are short or not very clear.

task achievement

Answer the question with more precise language about why these subjects are equal to other subjects.

task achievement

The essay gives a clear opinion and keeps it from start to end.

coherence cohesion

There is an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The writer uses some examples to support ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

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Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

There should be an international committee to reduce the use of fossil fuels in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative situation?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that sport teaches children how to compete, while others believe that children learn teamwork. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.