IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

Nowadays, the causes of environmental damage continue to grow constantly.
This
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 essay will examine the main causes which drive environmental deterioration and suggest measures to reduce its negative impact. Overconsumption leads to the massive production of consumer goods, which requires enormous amounts of energy.
As a result
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, factories burn a staggering amount of fossil fuels, contributing to air pollution through emissions of greenhouse gases, which in turn drives global warming. Single-use
plastic
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 is another major problem. These plastics don’t decay;
instead
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, they break down for hundreds of years
,
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apply
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 because they contain harmful chemicals.
Plastic
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 waste ends up accumulating in the oceans, dramatically disrupting marine life,
for example
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, by blocking the vital sunlight that coral needs to thrive.
In addition
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, many marine species can mistake
plastic
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 pieces for food, the ingestion of which leads to starvation and death. To address
this
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 problem, people should reduce their consumption. The fewer individuals who consume, the lower the demand becomes, forcing factories to cut production in order to meet the supply-demand balance. The authorities
also
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 have the power to curb environmental damage by establishing conservation programs.
As a result
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, companies must follow regulations to avoid significant penalties, which will help to decrease environmental damage.
Moreover
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, people must shift their harmful habit of using single-use
plastic
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.
For instance
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, they should switch to biodegradable alternatives, which are made from organic substances that easily decay and don’t harm habitats. They should
also
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 use reusable glass bottles rather than
plastic
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 ones, thereby reducing the need to manufacture new
plastic
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 bottles.
Therefore
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,
it is clear that
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 the problems caused by a rapidly developing society are highly alarming. Yet if governments and individuals share a collective responsibility,
then
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 it may well become possible to find effective solutions.

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task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question well, but you can add one more direct cause, such as cars or cutting down trees, to make the answer more full.
task response
For task response, some ideas are strong but a few are a bit general. Try to explain more clearly how each step will work in real life.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but some linking words are used too often. Try to vary them and keep the flow more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, one body paragraph on causes and one on solutions is clear, but grouping all solutions in one long part makes it slightly less balanced. You can split ideas more evenly.
task response
For task response, you answer the question clearly and stay on the topic from start to end.
task response
For task response, your examples about plastic in the sea are clear and help support your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main focus, so the reader can follow your ideas easily.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
What to do next:
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