Some people think that main benefit of international cooperation is in the protection of the environment, while others believe that business mainly benefit. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

For the
last
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century
Add a comma
century,
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the International
Correct determiner usage
international
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cooperation has grown significantly.
This
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essay will examine the benefits of global partnerships for the environment and business,
as well as
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who stands to gain the most from them. I believe that international cooperation is crucial for the environment, because pollution, biodiversity loss and climate change don’t respect national borders.
For instance
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, imagine a river that flows through multiple
countries
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. If one country pollutes the river upstream, all the
countries
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downstream suffer the consequences.
Similarly
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, greenhouse gas emissions from one country contribute to global climate change, affecting all nations, regardless of their own emissions levels.
Therefore
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, coordinated efforts are required to address these challenges effectively. A global approach allows for the pooling of resources, knowledge, and expertise. Developed
countries
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can provide financial and technological assistance to developing
countries
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, helping them to adopt cleaner technologies and sustainable practices. International agreements and treaties establish common goals and standards, creating a framework for collective action.
Similarly
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, in a rapidly evolving and interconnected world, the power of collaboration and partnership on a global scale has become increasingly essential for businesses seeking to thrive and expand their reach. Collaborating with
partners
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internationally opens doors to new markets and customer segments that may have previously been inaccessible. By tapping into the networks and insights of global
partners
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, businesses can expand their reach, penetrate unfamiliar territories and effectively cater to the needs and preferences of diverse audiences.
This
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enables companies to diversify their customer base and drive revenue growth through increased market share.
Also
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, collaborating with global
partners
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helps mitigate risks associated with market entry, expansion or innovation initiatives. By sharing responsibilities and resources with trusted
partners
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, businesses can more effectively navigate challenges, uncertainties and geopolitical complexities.
This
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approach enables companies to share the burden of investment, minimise financial risks and enhance operational resilience
while
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pursuing growth opportunities on a global scale. In conclusion, from my point of view
global
Punctuation problem
, global
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cooperation benefits both the environment and business.

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task response
Write your own opinion more clearly in the end and also in the body. Now your view is short and not fully strong.
task response
Discuss both sides in a more equal way. The environment part is strong, but the business part feels more general.
task response
Add one real or more exact example for business, not only broad ideas. This will make your answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: intro, one side, other side, end. This helps the reader follow your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words well, but do not use too many long phrases. Keep some sentences shorter for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
Some points are explained well, but a few ideas in the business paragraph are a bit long and repeat the same meaning.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion, so the task is covered.
task response
The river example is clear and easy to understand. It supports your point well.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clear.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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