IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

There is no doubt that technological and transportational play a prime role in todays multidimentional development. The questions is wether the benifits of
this
Linking Words
 development
overweight
Replace the word
outweigh
 its negatives? In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I think that there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a notable need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 and
transportation
Use synonyms
 despite
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 negative effect as they make our lives easier and
have
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a primary role in academic development. On the one hand, focusing on the present,
technology
Use synonyms
 and
transportation
Use synonyms
 make
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 live
confinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, it
save
Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
show examples
 time and
efforts
Check wording
effort
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, people don't worry about having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job opportunities at different city than where
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 family live as they can use
plans
Use the right word
planes
show examples
, trains or cars to easily visit them.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 can save time as people can phone or video call any person they
wana
Correct your spelling
want
 to check on without having to travel to visit them. For me, I travel to my family every weekend and call my
parnts
Correct your spelling
parents
 every
as
Check wording
day as
show examples
 they live in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 city.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they play a significant part in
rabidal
Correct your spelling
radical
 educational achievement.
For instance
Linking Words
, it made the educational process easier for both instructors and students with the creative AI
tools
Use synonyms
. Teachers can ceate a
creative
Punctuation problem
creative,
show examples
 attractive lesson materials
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 students can easily use AI
tools
Use synonyms
 to simplify and make the studying task easier and more productive. Focusing on
transportation
Use synonyms
, learners can study in the field they desire and get
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the university they
deam
Correct your spelling
dream
 of without worrying about distance.
In addition
Linking Words
,
throgh
Correct your spelling
through
 using different technological
tools
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
researching
Replace the word
research
 productivity increased. Researchers can use different
tools
Use synonyms
 like Researchgate website to access different
researches
Check wording
research
show examples
, arrange
theier
Correct your spelling
their
 references and increase the quality and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quantity of
researches
Check wording
research
show examples
 they conduct. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 I think that
technology
Use synonyms
 and
transportation
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a
fundmental
Correct your spelling
fundamental
 part of everyones live.
However
Linking Words
, they should be used wisely.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say clearly why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Add one short paragraph about the bad points, then explain why the good points are still greater.
task response
Use more clear examples. Your family and study examples are helpful, but they need more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one main idea, then add support after it.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, such as on the one hand, on the other hand, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to another.
task response
You give a clear opinion in the introduction and keep it to the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples from your own life and from education.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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