IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart shows the final results of a survey done about
resident's
Check wording
residents'
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea purchasing and drinking habits in five different Australian
cities
Use synonyms
. Units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 went for a
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea at a
cafe
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks had the largest
rates
Use synonyms
 in all five
cities
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 people who bought fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks had the lowest
rates
Use synonyms
 in all five
cities
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Sydney residents who purchased fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
rates
Use synonyms
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 at 44%, higher than in Melboume within almost 5%.
While
Linking Words
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 were slightly more than
fresh
Correct word order
those who bought fresh
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
 in Sydney.
Besides
Linking Words
,
Melboume
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
 had dramatically
shoot
Wrong verb form
shot
show examples
 up
rates
Use synonyms
 in
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 at almost 49%. Both
Use synonyms
cities
Check wording
cities'
show examples
 leading
rates
Use synonyms
 were individuals who went to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 for either
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea, almost 60% for Sydney and almost at 64% for
Melboume
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Brisbane and Adelaide had the same
rates
Use synonyms
 for
fresh
Rephrase
freshly
show examples
 bought
coffee
Use synonyms
 at almost 35%.
While
Linking Words
 Hobart had
rates
Use synonyms
 at almost 40%. Adelaide had
rates
Use synonyms
 in residents who bought
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and went to a
cafe
Use synonyms
 at almost 50%,
whereas
Linking Words
 Hobart had
surrpassed
Correct your spelling
surpassed
 both
cities
Use synonyms
 in
rates
Use synonyms
 of
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 at almost 55%, and 51% for Brisbane.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, leading
rates
Use synonyms
 are stable for residents who went out to a
cafe
Use synonyms
, Brisbane and Hobart ( almost 55% , almost 62%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, cafe, rates, instant with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 11 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preferences
  • café culture
  • survey results
  • comparable
  • indicate
  • reflect
  • regional
  • cultural influences
  • drinking habits
  • percentage
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